United States Marine Corps

One Marine is better than ten Isis fighters

A large group of ISIS fighters in Iraq are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand dune: “One Marine is better than ten ISIS fighters”. The ISIS commander quickly orders 10 of his best men over the dune where a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few […]

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The secret to a long life - Amazingly enough, this old man has some very ... calm ... suggestions for living a long life

A child’s perspective on retirement

A child’s perspective on retirement – a funny (and sad) view of retirement from a child’s point of view A teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their vacation. One child wrote the following: “We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live here in a big brick […]

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Juggler's sobriety test - I've heard of the highway patrol giving sobriety tests, but this is ridiculous!

Juggler’s sobriety test

Juggler’s sobriety test – I’ve heard of the highway patrol giving sobriety tests, but this is ridiculous!

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Funny movie quotes from The Comedy of Terrors - a hilarious black comedy starring Vincent Price, Peter Lorre, Boris Karloff, Basil Rathbone, Joyce Jameson

Funny movie quotes from The Comedy of Terrors

Funny movie quotes from The Comedy of Terrors – a hilarious black comedy starring Vincent Price, Peter Lorre, Boris Karloff, Basil Rathbone, Joyce Jameson

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Two atoms are walking down the street

Two atoms are walking down the street

Two atoms are walking down the street and they accidentally bump into each other. One says to the other, “Are you all right?” The second replies, “No, I lost an electron!” “Are you sure?” “Yes, I’m positive!”

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You picked a fine time to page me, Lucille …

One of my friends works in the customer service call center of a national pager company. He deals with the usual complaints regarding poor pager operation, as well as the occasional crank caller demanding to be paged less often, more often, or by more interesting people. The best call came from a man who repeatedly […]

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Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer

Chess enthusiasts

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why?” they asked, as they moved off. “Because,” he said, “I can’t stand chess nuts boasting in an […]

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Hazelnut daiquiri

A doctor made it his regular habit to stop off at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knew of his habit, and would always have the drink waiting at precisely 5:03 p.m. One afternoon, as the end of the work day approached, the bartender was dismayed to find he […]

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Teepee or wigwam?

Teepee or wigwam? What’s the diagnosis?

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Funny movie quotes from I Love You Again

Funny movie quotes from I Love You Again

Funny movie quotes from I Love You Again, a very funny comedy starring William Powell and Myrna Loy

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Funny movie quotes from Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House, starring Cary Grant , Myrna Loy , Melvyn Douglas

Funny movie quotes from Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House

Funny movie quotes from Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House, starring Cary Grant , Myrna Loy , Melvyn Douglas Jim Blandings (Cary Grant): What’s with this kissing all of a sudden? I don’t like it. Every time he goes out of this house, he shakes my hand and kisses you. Muriel Blandings (Myrna Loy): Would […]

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