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Funny Tombstone Messages

Typically, the carvings on a grave marker give the deceased’s name, birth date, and death date. But sometimes they leave a funny tombstone message as well!

  • I told you I was sick.
  • I was hoping for a pyramid.
  • Raised four beautiful daughters with only one bathroom and there still was love
  • She lived each day as if it were her last – especially this one
  • Here lies John Yeast – pardon me for not rising
  • Jokes over. Let me out NOW!
  • We finally found a place to park in Georgetown!
  • Here lies Henry Blake he stepped on the gas instead of the brake
  • I came here without being consulted and I leave without my consent
  • Go away – I’m sleeping
  • Ha! Ha! Ha!
  • She always aid her feet were killing here but nobody listened
  • Jesus called and I answered
  • It’s dark down here
  • I told you I was sick – And I was sick of hearing it
  • One way – do not enter
  • This ain’t bad once you get used to it
  • Here lies good old Fred – a great big rock fell on his head

Celebrity Tombstones

  • Merv Griffin – I will not be back right after this message
  • Billy Wilder – I’m a writer but nobody’s perfect
  • Leslie Nielsen – Let ‘er rip
  • Alfred Hitchcock – May he rest in suspense
  • Ripley’s — I died … Believe it or not!
  • Mel Blanc – “That’s all folks!”
  • Rodney Dangerfield – There goes the neighborhood
  • Doc Holliday – He died in bed
  • Ed Wynn – Dear God – thanks


From the Three Stooges short film, Shot in the Frontier:

  • Beneath this monumental stone lies 80 pounds of skin and bone.
  • Mama loved Papa, Papa loved women, Mama caught Papa with two girls in swimmin’
  • Here lies the father of 28, he might have had more, but now its too late

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