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Funny movie quotes from Smart Alecks

Funny movie quotes from Smart Alecks – the East Side Kids gets involved with capturing a criminal, who later escapes …

Capt. Bronson: Danny, you have not only displayed bravery in making possible the apprehension of Dutch Brocalli but a spirit of fine citizenship. Certainly you acted without knowledge or desire for monetary rewards. You are to be commended.
Scruno: Hey, what’s this “monetary” jive?
Muggs McGinnis: I don’t know. I think it’s a place where they keep dead people.

Danny: Hey, remember Foxworth the delicatessen man?
Hank Salka: Yeah.
Danny: He got ulcers of the stomach from eatin’ his own baloney.

Scruno: [ascending a fire escape] Man, I hope this thing is leadin’ to Heaven and not the other place.
Glimpy: What are you worried about? You got no friends there anyway.

Muggs McGinnis: When do we eat breakfast? I just been woikin’ up a carni-vorous appetite.

Glimpy: I gotta go home and take my violin lesson.
Danny: Look, what do you wanna be, Joe Dimaggio or Jascha Heifetz?
Glimpy: Heifetz? What team does he play with?
Muggs McGinnis: Heifetz plays third base with the Philharmonic.

At the hospital

Muggs McGinnis: [pleading to a surgeon why Danny’s life’s worth saving] Well, anyhow, he knocked over a hot mug.
Dr. Ormsby: He knocked over what?
Glimpy: You know, turns a slippery gink over to the coppers.
Dr. Ormsby: I don’t quite follow.
Glimpy: Don’t you understand English?
Dr. Ormsby: Well, not that kind.

Glimpy: [hitting on a nurse] Do you know how long they’re gonna be in the operatin’ room?
Nurse: Well, I’m sure I don’t know.
Glimpy: Well, how long YOU gonna be tied up?
Nurse: Oh, that depends. Why?
Glimpy: Well, I thought, uh, maybe you’d like to operate on me, huh?
Nurse: I would be delighted. Which would you prefer to have cut out, your duodenum or your sacroiliac?
Glimpy: Well, I’ve already had my tires and sugar cut out, and I thought maybe you’d like to cut my heart out.
Nurse: I think your heart still belongs to your mama.

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