Ozman’s Laws

Ozman’s Laws: If someone says he will do something “without fail,” he won’t. The more people talk on the phone, the less money they make. People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn’t. Pizza always burns the roof of your mouth.
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Quit shooting off your mouth

Quit shooting off your mouth
Quit shooting off your mouth – From the Abbott and Costello radio show, circa 1940-ish Lou Costello: Do you brush your teeth with gunpowder? Sid Fields: No. Lou Costello: Then quit shooting off your mouth!
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Funny movie quotes from Horses Collars

Funny movie quotes from Horses Collars, starring the Three Stooges
Funny movie quotes from Horses Collars starring the Three Stooges (Moe Howard, Larry Fine, Curly Howard) Moe (Moe Howard): Sometimes you got brains. Curly (Curly Howard): Thank you thank you. Larry (Larry Fine): Don’t let ’em go to your head. Curly (Curly Howard): Moe, Larry, the cheese! Moe, Larry,...
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Funny movie quotes from The Bank Dick

Funny movie quotes from The Bank Dick starring W. C. Fields
Funny movie quotes from The Bank Dick starring W. C. Fields Egbert Sousé (W. C. Fields): Was I in here last night and did I spend a twenty dollar bill? Joe Guelpe (Shemp Howard): Yeah. Egbert Sousé (W. C. Fields): Oh boy, what a load that is off...
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Abbott and Costello meet a ferocious skunk

Abbott and Costello meet a ferocious skunk
Abbott and Costello meet a ferocious skunk From Abbott and Costello‘s radio show, April 28, 1948) Lou Costello: I was walking through the woods, and a ferocious skunk attacked me. Bud Abbott: Well, you’re more than a match for a skunk. Did you let him have it? Lou...
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