- Chuck Norris went to a feminist rally and came back with his shirt ironed and holding a sandwich.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t do push ups – he pushes the Earth down.
- One time he threw a grenade and it killed 50 people. Then it exploded.
- Chuck Norris has a bear rug in his den. It’s not dead — it’s just afraid to move.
- Chuck Norris once went to a Burger King and ordered a Big Mac. They brought it to him …
- Scientists claim that nothing can escape from the gravity of a black hole. Chuck Norris disagrees …
- There is no inflation. Chuck Norris simply went to a bank and withdrew money.
- Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience.
- He can rub two pieces of fire together and make wood.
- He can hear sign language.
- Time waits for no man. Except Chuck Norris.
- He had an arm wrestling contest with Superman. The loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants.
- When Chuck Norris was 8 years old, he threw a paper airplane. It landed yesterday.
- Chuck Norris did shadow boxing — and won.
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