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How to know when your young child has been spending too much time on the Internet

How to know when your young child has been spending too much time on the Internet

How to know when your young child has been spending too much time on the Internet – true story, from many years ago How do you know when your child has been spending too much time on the computer? My six-year-old son, Jack, recently informed his mother that...

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September 7, 2020 user Computer jokes, Kid jokes No Comment

computer room sign

computer room sign

computer room sign – (a sign I’ve seen posted in numerous computer rooms, typically at college campus — enjoy) ### ## #### # # ##### # # # # #### ### # # # # # # # # # ## # # # ### # # #...

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June 21, 2020 user Computer jokes No Comment

Computer gender

Computer gender - are computers male or female?

Computer gender – are computers male or female? A language instructor was explaining to her class that French nouns, unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine.

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June 20, 2020 user Computer jokes No Comment

Addicted to the Internet

The Internet before Christmas

You know you are addicted to the Internet when … You know you are addicted to the internet when…

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April 27, 2020 user Computer jokes No Comment

Actual answering machine messages

Actual answering machine messages

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April 26, 2020 user Computer jokes No Comment

Actual answering machine messages

Actual answering machine messages

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April 26, 2020 tfraymond Computer jokes No Comment

30 Signs That Technology Has Taken Over Your Life

Your stationery is more cluttered than Warren Beatty’s address book. The letterhead lists a fax number, e-mail addresses for two on-line services, and your Internet address, which spreads across the breadth of the letterhead and continues to the back. In essence, you have conceded that the first page of any letter you write is letterhead. You have never sat through an entire movie without having at least one device on your body beep or buzz. You need to fill out a form that must be typewritten, but you can’t because there isn’t one typewriter in your house. Only computers with laser printers. You think of the gadgets in your office as “friends,” but you forget to send your father a birthday card. You disdain people who use dial-up. When you go into a computer store, you eavesdrop on a salesperson talking with customers, you butt in to correct him and spend the next twenty minutes answering the customers’ questions, while the salesperson stands by silently, nodding his head. You use the phrase “digital compression” in a conversation without thinking how strange your mouth feels when you say it. You constantly find yourself in groups of people to whom you say the phrase “digital compression.” Everyone understands what you mean, and you are not surprised or disappointed that you don’t have to explain it. You know Bill Gates’ e-mail address, but you have to look up your own social security number. You stop saying “phone number” and replace it with “voice number,” since we all know the majority of phone lines in any house are plugged into contraptions that talk to other contraptions. You sign Christmas cards by putting :-) next to your signature. Off the top of your head, you can think of nineteen keystroke symbols that are far more clever than :-). You back up your data every day. Your wife asks you to pick up some minipads for her at the store and you return with a rest for your mouse. You think jokes about being unable to program a VCR are stupid. On vacation, you are reading a computer manual and turning the pages faster than everyone else who is reading John Grisham novels. The thought that a CD could refer to finance or music rarely enters your mind. You are able to argue persuasively the Ross Perot’s phrase “electronic town hall” makes more sense than the term “information superhighway,” but you don’t because, after all, the man still uses hand-drawn pie charts. You go to computer trade shows and map out your path of the exhibit hall in advance. But you cannot give someone directions to your house without using MapQuest.com. You would rather get more dots per inch than miles per gallon. You become upset when a person calls you on the phone to sell you something, but you think it’s okay for a computer to call and demand that you start pushing buttons on your telephone to receive more information about the product it is selling. You know without a doubt that disks come in five-and-a- quarter-and three-and-a-half-inch sizes. Al Gore strikes you as an “intriguing” fellow. You own a set of itty-bitty screw-drivers and you actually know where they are. While contemporaries swap stories about their recent hernia surgeries, you compare mouse-induced index-finger strain with a nine-year-old. You are so knowledgeable about technology that you feel secure enough to say “I don’t know” when someone asks you a technology question instead of feeling compelled to make something up. You rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires. You have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal. You have ended friendships because of irreconcilably different opinions over Macintosh vs. PC. You understand all the jokes in this message. If so, my friend, technology has taken over your life. We suggest, for your own good, that you go lie under a tree and write a haiku. And don’t use a laptop.

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January 26, 2020 user Computer jokes No Comment

30 Signs That Technology Has Taken Over Your Life

How to know when your young child has been spending too much time on the Internet

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January 26, 2020 user Computer jokes No Comment

30 Signs That Technology Has Taken Over Your Life

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January 26, 2020 tfraymond Computer jokes No Comment

30 Signs That Technology Has Taken Over Your Life

Your stationery is more cluttered than Warren Beatty’s address book. The letterhead lists a fax number, e-mail addresses for two on-line services, and your Internet address, which spreads across the breadth of the letterhead and continues to the back. In essence, you have conceded that the first page of any letter you write is letterhead. You have never sat through an entire movie without having at least one device on your body beep or buzz. You need to fill out a form that must be typewritten, but you can’t because there isn’t one typewriter in your house. Only computers with laser printers. You think of the gadgets in your office as “friends,” but you forget to send your father a birthday card. You disdain people who use dial-up. When you go into a computer store, you eavesdrop on a salesperson talking with customers, you butt in to correct him and spend the next twenty minutes answering the customers’ questions, while the salesperson stands by silently, nodding his head. You use the phrase “digital compression” in a conversation without thinking how strange your mouth feels when you say it. You constantly find yourself in groups of people to whom you say the phrase “digital compression.” Everyone understands what you mean, and you are not surprised or disappointed that you don’t have to explain it. You know Bill Gates’ e-mail address, but you have to look up your own social security number. You stop saying “phone number” and replace it with “voice number,” since we all know the majority of phone lines in any house are plugged into contraptions that talk to other contraptions. You sign Christmas cards by putting :-) next to your signature. Off the top of your head, you can think of nineteen keystroke symbols that are far more clever than :-). You back up your data every day. Your wife asks you to pick up some minipads for her at the store and you return with a rest for your mouse. You think jokes about being unable to program a VCR are stupid. On vacation, you are reading a computer manual and turning the pages faster than everyone else who is reading John Grisham novels. The thought that a CD could refer to finance or music rarely enters your mind. You are able to argue persuasively the Ross Perot’s phrase “electronic town hall” makes more sense than the term “information superhighway,” but you don’t because, after all, the man still uses hand-drawn pie charts. You go to computer trade shows and map out your path of the exhibit hall in advance. But you cannot give someone directions to your house without using MapQuest.com. You would rather get more dots per inch than miles per gallon. You become upset when a person calls you on the phone to sell you something, but you think it’s okay for a computer to call and demand that you start pushing buttons on your telephone to receive more information about the product it is selling. You know without a doubt that disks come in five-and-a- quarter-and three-and-a-half-inch sizes. Al Gore strikes you as an “intriguing” fellow. You own a set of itty-bitty screw-drivers and you actually know where they are. While contemporaries swap stories about their recent hernia surgeries, you compare mouse-induced index-finger strain with a nine-year-old. You are so knowledgeable about technology that you feel secure enough to say “I don’t know” when someone asks you a technology question instead of feeling compelled to make something up. You rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires. You have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal. You have ended friendships because of irreconcilably different opinions over Macintosh vs. PC. You understand all the jokes in this message. If so, my friend, technology has taken over your life. We suggest, for your own good, that you go lie under a tree and write a haiku. And don’t use a laptop.

Continue reading

January 26, 2020 user Computer jokes No Comment

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