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Southern home security system

How to install a Southern home security system

  1. Go to Goodwill and buy a pair of size 14-16 men’€™s work boots.
  2. Put them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine.
  3. Put four giant dog dishes next to the boots and the magazine.
  4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

Dear Bubba,

Me and Marcel, Donny Ray and Jimmy Earl went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour. Don’€™t mess with the pit bulls. They got the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad.

I don’€™t think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell with all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of ‘€˜em inside the house. Better wait outside.

Be right back.


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