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Abbott and Costello meet Microsoft Windows

Abbott and Costello meet Microsoft Windows – Bud Abbott and Lou Costello became famous for their well-known “Who’s on First?” routine — if they were alive today, the routine might focus on Microsoft Windows instead ….

If Bud AbbottandLou Costellowere alive today, their infamous sketch, ‘€œWho’€™s on first?’€ might have turned out something like this:

Bud Abbott: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

Lou Costello: Thanks. I’€™m setting up an office in my den and I’€™m thinking about buying a computer.
Bud Abbott: Mac?
Lou Costello: No, the name’€™s Lou.
Bud Abbott: Your computer?
Lou Costello: I don’€™t own a computer. I want to buy one.
Bud Abbott: Mac?
Lou Costello: I told you, my name’€™s Lou.
Bud Abbott: What about Windows?
Lou Costello: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
Bud Abbott: Do you want a computer with Windows?
Lou Costello: I don’€™t know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

Bud Abbott: Wallpaper.

Who's on FirstLou Costello: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

Bud Abbott: Software for Windows?
Lou Costello: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
Bud Abbott: Office.
Lou Costello: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
Bud Abbott: I just did.
Lou Costello: You just did what?
Bud Abbott: Recommend something.
Lou Costello: You recommended something?
Bud Abbott: Yes.
Lou Costello: For my office?
Bud Abbott: Yes.
Lou Costello: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
Bud Abbott: Office.
Lou Costello: Yes, for my office!
Bud Abbott: I recommend Office with Windows.
Lou Costello: I already have an office with windows! OK, let’€™s just say I’€™m sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
Bud Abbott: Word.
Lou Costello: What word?
Bud Abbott: Word in Office.
Lou Costello: The only word in office is office.
Bud Abbott: The Word in Office for Windows.
Lou Costello: Which word in office for windows?
Bud Abbott: The Word you get when you click the blue ‘€œW’€.
Lou Costello: I’€™m going to click your blue ‘€œw’€ if you don’€™t start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?
Bud Abbott: Yes, you want Real One.
Lou Costello: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need!
Bud Abbott: Real One.
Lou Costello: If it’€™s a long movie, I also want to watch reels 2, 3 and 4. Can I watch them?
Bud Abbott: Of course.
Lou Costello: Great! With what?
Bud Abbott: Real One.
Lou Costello: OK, I’€™m at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?
Bud Abbott: You click the blue ‘€œ1’€.
Lou Costello: I click the blue one what?
Bud Abbott: The blue ‘€œ1’€.
Lou Costello: Is that different from the blue w?
Bud Abbott: The blue ‘€œ1’€ is Real One and the blue ‘€œW’€ is Word.
Lou Costello: What word?
Bud Abbott: The Word in Office for Windows.
Lou Costello: But there are three words in ‘€œoffice for windows’€!
Bud Abbott: No, just one. But it’€™s the most popular Word in the world.
Lou Costello: It is?
Bud Abbott: Yes, but to be fair, there aren’€™t many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.
Lou Costello: And that word is real one?
Bud Abbott: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn’€™t even part of Office.
Lou Costello: STOP! Don’€™t start that again. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
Bud Abbott: Money.
Lou Costello: That’€™s right. What do you have?
Bud Abbott: Money.
Lou Costello: I need money to track my money?
Bud Abbott: It comes bundled with your computer.
Lou Costello: What’€™s bundled with my computer?
Bud Abbott: Money.
Lou Costello: Money comes with my computer?
Bud Abbott: Yes. No extra charge.
Lou Costello: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
Bud Abbott: One copy.
Lou Costello: Isn’€™t it illegal to copy money?
Bud Abbott: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
Lou Costello: They can give you a license to copy money?
Bud Abbott: Why not? They own it!
(A few days later)
Bud Abbott: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
Lou Costello: How do I turn my computer off?
Bud Abbott: Click on ‘€œSTART’€…….

 

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