Around the World in Eighty Days funny quotes (1956)
Railway Official: There’s still fifty miles of track to be laid between here and Allabahad.
Phileas Fogg: But the London newspapers announced the opening of this railway throughout.
Railway Official: That must have been The Daily Telegraph. Never would have read that in The Times.
Saloon Bouncer: Listen, you. Get out and stay out. If I ever catch you in here again, I’ll cut you up in a thousand pieces.
Col. Proctor Stamp: What kind of foreigner are you? Are you a hoochie-coochie dancer?
Saloon Hostess: Never be in a hurry. You’ll miss the best parts in life.
Phileas Fogg: Madam, you don’t understand. I’m looking for my man.
Saloon Hostess: So am I.
Phileas Fogg: You play an abominable game of whist, sir.
Col. Proctor Stamp: Thanks. You’re still a foreigner, but you’re true blue.
Stationmaster: I never will understand you city folk. Always rushing, rushing, rushing, always in a hurry. That’s why you have stomach trouble.
Sporting Lady: Call a bobbie! I’ve been robbed.
Passepartout (Cantinflas): Is that necessary?
Mr. Fix: It’s not necessary. Mandatory.
Mr. Fix: Follow that ostrich!
Princess Aouda: Mr. Fogg, why must you be so’¦ so British?
Phileas Fogg: An Englishman never jokes about a wager, sir.
Monsieur Gasse, Travel Agent: Monsieur! You are now addressing the second most celebrated balloonist in Europe.
Phileas Fogg: And who is the first?
Monsieur Gasse, Travel Agent: He is not available. He was, uh, buried last Tuesday.
Sir Francis Gromarty: One thousand pounds for an elephant? It’s outrageous! You’ve been diddled.
Phileas Fogg: Undoubtedly. But it’s not often one needs an elephant in a hurry.
Phileas Fogg: Madam, will you join me on the veranda? I understand they serve an outstanding lemon squash.
Princess Aouda: Have there been any women in his life?
Passepartout (Cantinflas): I assume he had a mother, but I am not certain.