It’s a very sad commentary that foreigners might learn these ‘truths’ about Americans from watching ‘Baywatch‘
- American men and women spend 15 percent of their days running in slow motion along the beach.
- Americans almost drown an average of two times each hour.
- Despite the habit of breathing water, CPR always works and no one actually dies, except from cancer.
- People in the U.S. look thoughtfully at the ocean for an average of 15 seconds after being told anything of any importance.
- Americans never worry about getting enough to eat, but fat people are unreliable and sometimes evil.
- Most American women have abnormally large breasts that are worshiped via close-ups for an average of two minutes and thirteen seconds per hour.
- When swimming in California, you are more likely to be attacked by jewel thieves or taken hostage by terrorists than you are to drown.
- Most activities that take place off the beach occurs in montages and lasts no longer than two minutes.
- Although Americans, especially lifeguards, complain that they are poor, they all have expensive sports cars and luxurious homes.
- Motorboats, unlike cars, will not talk back to David Hasselhoff.