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Gertrude and Heathcliff jokes

Gertrude and Heathcliff  jokes by Red Skelton, about his seagull friends – flapping their wings, the ship of fools, and an elephant with a cold in the nose

As  Red Skelton  used to say, there were these two seagulls named Gertrude and Heathcliff:

Heathcliff: You know, I must flap my wings 40,000 times a day.
Gertrude: You’re putting me on!
Heathcliff: No! I flap 40,000 a day!
Gertrude: Well wouldn’t it just be easier to buy some deodorant?

As Gertrude and Heathcliff are flying over the ocean …
Gertrude: look down there, it’s the ship of fools.
Heathcliff: How do you know its the ship of fools?
Gertrude: They’re looking up!

An elephant and a hippo
Elephant: You know there is nothing worse than a cold in the nose!
Hippo: You’ve never had chapped lips, have ya?

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