Uses For Christmas Fruitcake

Eat the Last Piece of Fruitcake - Sung to the tune of 'Last Train to Clarksville' by The Monkees - a very funny song parody (unless, of course, you *love* Christmas fruitcake)

Uses For Christmas Fruitcake

Some very inventive uses for fruitcake. Hey, it beats having to eat it!

  1. Bury them in the back yard for future archaeologists to discover.
  2. Give them to your son for a science project
  3. Hang on to it to find out if there REALLY is more than one Fruitcake that’s making it’s rounds every year.
  4. Use it to hold up a broken table or chair leg.
  5. Mash them down and use for mortar when building a log cabin.
  6. Use as exercise stepping block for step aerobics.
  7. Makes a wonderful dessert for Road Kill Cafe fare.
  8. Use them to pave the freeways with. Just place them on the road and run a steamroller over them.
  9. Use them as fillers to repair the river levees with! They last indefinitely and are so dense, water can never penetrate them.
  10. Last and probably least, try eating it! Hey! It’s one way to get rid of it!

For more fruitcake jokes, be sure to check out :

Author

Tom Raymond

Professional clown who loves to laugh - happily married for 29 years, with 5 children and 1 grandson. Servant of Jesus Christ.

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