Funny movie quotes from Room Service starring the Marx Brothers (Groucho, Chico, Harpo), Lucille Ball, Ann Miller
Funny movie quotes from one of the Marx Brothers’ underrated films, ‘Room Service’
Frank Albertson: Oh, but you see, I’ve left home for good. I’ve burned my bridges behind me.
Groucho: I see. But you could go back if you wanted to.
Frank Albertson: My mother seemed very happy when I left.
Groucho: Only a mother’s mask. At this moment, she may be sitting at the fireside, wringing her hands.
Frank Albertson: Oh, we have no fireside.
Groucho: You have no fireside? How do you listen to the President’s speeches?
Harry Binelli (Chico Marx): [taking off layers of clothing] Now I know how Gypsy Rose Lee feels.
Gordon Miller (Groucho Marx): You go down and tell Waggner that if he doesn’t behave himself, I’ll buy this hotel and make him a bellhop. No, that’s too good for him … I’ll make him a guest!
Harry Binelli (Chico Marx): I still think it’s a terrible play, but it makes a wonderful rehearsal.
Groucho: [Disapprovingly] Love! He talks just like one of the characters in his play.
Chico: I don’t know. I like-a love.
Groucho: I like it too; but, there’s a time and place for everything.
Chico: I like it anytime.
Hilda Manny (Ann Miller): If I don’t come back you’ll know it’s good news.
Gordon Miller (Groucho Marx): And if you do come back bring four bottles of poison.
Leo Davis (Frank Albertson): You’ve been in jail?
Harry Binelli (Chico Marx): Sure, it’s ‘a not so bad. You behave and they make you a trustee.
Gordon Miller (Groucho Marx): The young lady can play one of the minors.
Leo Davis (Frank Albertson): But the minors are all men!
Gordon Miller (Groucho Marx): Do me a favor, Davis, and keep sex out of this conversation! I’ve never produced anything but clean plays.
Gordon Miller (Groucho Marx): You take the night shift, and I’ll take the day shift, and I’ll be in Scotland before ya!
Gordon Miller (Groucho Marx): Wait a minute. Suppose one of us got sick.
Harry Binelli (Chico Marx): [snaps his fingers] That’s the idea! They can’t put a sick man out, it’s against the law!
Gordon Miller (Groucho Marx): Remember I had kidney trouble at the Astor and gall stones at the Plaza!
Harry Binelli (Chico Marx): Those were the happy days.
Leo Davis (Frank Albertson): I’m weak! If I don’t get something to eat pretty soon, I’m gonna collapse!
Harry Binelli (Chico Marx): Hey, we’re just as hungry as you are.
Leo Davis (Frank Albertson): Yeah, but you fellows are used to it. I’ve never gone without food for 18 hours before.
Gordon Miller (Groucho Marx): It’s all a matter of willpower. If you just make up your mind.
Leo Davis (Frank Albertson): I can make up my mind alright, I just can’t do anything about my stomach.
Harry Binelli (Chico Marx): If only we had something to hock.
Gordon Miller (Groucho Marx): How about that moose head?
Harry Binelli (Chico Marx): Oh no you don’t! I shot him with my own two hands, I ate him up to the neck, but I refuse to part with the rest of him!
Gordon Miller (Groucho Marx): If I could get my watch out of hock, I’d hock it again.
Harry Binelli (Chico Marx): I’m so hungry I’m starting to see spots before my eyes.
Leo Davis (Frank Albertson): Me, too.
Harry Binelli (Chico Marx): Mine are beginning to look like hamburgers.
Gordon Miller (Groucho Marx): If you see one with onions, save it for me.
[Talking about the Russian waiter, who wants to act in the play]
Leo Davis (Frank Albertson): Gee, he has a lot of talent.
Gordon Miller (Groucho Marx): I’ve seen him carry twelve trays at once.
Harry Binelli (Chico Marx): You can’t miss him, second straitjacket to the left.
Chico: Hurry up, before they come back. And, groan, groan, stagger about and don’t die too soon! You must take your time. And you mustn’t die before 11 o’clock.
Frank Albertson: Don’t you worry! I’ll give you the best performance you ever saw in a hotel bedroom!
Groucho: That’s the spirit! Good luck, Davis. Drop dead!
Leo Davis (Frank Albertson): Gee, I-I-I don’t know whether I can keep it up for two and a half hours.
Gordon Miller (Groucho Marx): It’s all right. We’ll help you.
Gordon Miller (Groucho Marx): Shhh. Money.
[pretending that Leo Davis has died]
Gordon Miller (Groucho Marx): Too soon, too soon, he died too soon.
Harry Binelli (Chico Marx): An hour too soon.
Harry Binelli (Chico Marx): Hello? Room Service. Bring up enough ice to cool a warm body.
Gregory Wagner: Jumping butterballs!