Home » Funny movie quotes » Funny movie quotes from The Kennel Murder Case

Funny movie quotes from The Kennel Murder Case

Funny movie quotes from The Kennel Murder Case (1933) starring William Powell, Mary Astor, Eugene Pallette, directed by Michael Curtiz – a murder mystery with a lot of humor!


Philo Vance: What do you think of the suicide theory now, Sergeant?

Detective Sgt. Heath: Well, it’s slightly complicated since the man shot, slugged and stabbed himself – especially in the back.

Philo Vance: Say, Markham, I just heard about Arthur Coe.

Dist. Atty. Markham: Yes. Too bad he had to bump himself off like that.

Philo Vance: Hmm, that’s why I called you. You sure that he did bump himself off?

Dist. Atty. Markham: Well, his butler tells us he’s sitting in a locked room with a revolver in his hand and a bullet in his head. I don’t know what else you’d call it.

Philo Vance: Well, if you knew Archer Coe, you would know that suicide would be almost a psychological impossibility for him.

Dist. Atty. Markham: Psychological, bosh! Now two and two make four, don’t they?

Philo Vance: How do you know you have two and two?

[while posing Doris with her champion dog and his numerous awards, the photographer hikes the lady’s skirt to show her shapely legs]Photographer at Dog Show: There! That’s great!

[Doris rearranges her skirt to cover her legs]

Doris Delafield: Sorry, boys, but these are not trophies.

That poor, suffering Doctor

Philo Vance: [Refering to the wounded Sir Thomas] Could the wound have been self-inflicted, doctor?

Dr. Doremus: I’m the city butcher, not a detective. Don’t bother me with any murders after three tomorrow. I’m going to the World Series.

Dr. Doremus: I’m a doctor, not a detective.

Dr. Doremus: Sergeant, here’s your order for removal of the body.

Detective Sgt. Heath: Thanks, Doc.

Dr. Doremus: So long. I want food.

Detective Sgt. Heath: Well, nobody’s stoppin’ yuh.

Dr. Doremus: And if you got any more corpses, bring ’em out now, will yuh? I can’t be running up and down here all day!

Detective Sgt. Heath: Watta yuh mean running up and down all day with that swell car the city gave yuh?

Dr. Doremus: [With frustration as he leaves] Ugh!

Detective Sgt. Heath: [as the doctor’s leaving] Nothing upsets the doctor clearly.

Dr. Doremus: [Frustrated, after being called for the third time] I’d like to rent a room here until they finish this case.

Dr. Doremus: [answers phone] Hello? What? Again? I’m right in the middle of my lunch. First you interfere with my breakfast, then you ruin my lunch. Don’t you boys ever eat?

Detective Sgt. Heath: No. I’m on a diet.

Dr. Doremus: Oh, all right.


Dist. Atty. Markham: Haven’t you got any ideas, Vance?

Philo Vance: Markham, it’s a maze of conflicting clues. Any one of seven people might have done it.

Detective Sgt. Heath: We couldn’t convict seven people, Mr. Vance.

Philo Vance: You couldn’t convict one with the evidence you’ve got.

Dr. Doremus: [Referring to the corpse] He’s been dead for four hours.

Detective Sgt. Heath: [Sarcastically] And me thinkin’ he’s playin’ possum.

Dr. Doremus: Well, there are too many people in the world anyway!

Dr. Doremus: [Referring to the corpse] There couldn’t have been much of a struggle. His hair isn’t even mussed.

Detective Sgt. Heath: Maybe somebody slugged him and then combed his hair.

Detective Sgt. Heath: Well, Mr. Vance. Looks like somebody else miscalculated.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *