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Funny movie quotes about children

Funny movie quotes about children, from a variety of movies

An eight-year-old boy explains to his older system why he doesn’t like to have a babysitter: “It’s a psychological stumbling block. The juvenile mind resents the restraint of adult authority.”

Jack and the Beanstalk (1951)

Bob Hope‘s character reports to a western lawyer’s office, to claim his inheritance from his father: “The reason I leave all my money to my son Junior is that, being of sound mind I can’t leave my money to my wife, ’cause I ain’t never forgiven her since the day she presented me with an idiot for a son.”

Son of Paleface (1952)

Peggy Lee as a gangster’s moll looks sadly at her childless future: “Well, there won’t ever be no patter  of little feet in my house — unless I was to rent some mice.”

Pete Kelly’s Blues (1955)

Family man Jackie Gleason bonds with his six-year-old daughter Linda Bruhl, trying to teach her some history — but doesn’t get the answer he expected. “What’s today, July the 8th, famous for?” he asked her. “Your going to church.” was her reply.

Papa’s Delicate Condition (1963)

At a dinner to honor entertainer Eddie Foy (played by Bob Hope), he verbally jousts with another Broadway star George M. Cohan (James Cagney). “You know what I’d give to have your seven kids?” Cagney asks. Hope replies, “Do you know what I’d give you to take them?” Cagney replied, “I’ve met your kids. You couldn’t afford it.”

The Seven Little Foys (1955)

Wealthy Jackie Gleason hires unemployed Richard Pryor as a companion for Gleason’s son, but once Pryor realizes how big a brat the boy is, he quits. Gleason said, “I only get Eric for a week each year.”
Pryor replied, “Then you should get better lawyers, you shouldn’t have to have him that long.”

The Toy (1982)


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