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Funny movie quotes from Chickens Come Home

Funny movie quotes from Chickens Come Home – a very funny movie, where Oliver Hardy is being blackmailed – and Stan Laurel “helps” him!

Funny movie quotes from Chickens Come Home, starring Laurel and Hardy

Introductory Card: Every man has a past – with some little “indiscretion” he would like to bury – Mr. Laurel and Mr. Hardy have 30 or 40 they would like to cremate.

Sign on door: Laurel & Hardy, “Dealers in High-Grade Fertilizer”

Oliver (Oliver Hardy): Where have you been?
Stanley (Stan Laurel): I was in the sample room.

Oliver (Oliver Hardy): [refusing blackmail request] No sir, not one penny, not even a nickel, not one kopeck!

Oliver (Oliver Hardy): Oh, Gabriel, blow your horn.

Mrs. Hardy (Thelma Todd): And how is Mrs. Laurel?
Stanley (Stan Laurel): Oh, Fine, Thank you.
Mrs. Hardy (Thelma Todd): I’d love to meet her sometime.
Stanley (Stan Laurel): Neither do I too.

Oliver (Oliver Hardy): Well …
Stanley (Stan Laurel): Here’s another nice mess I got you into.

Stanley (Stan Laurel): What about my wife?
Oliver (Oliver Hardy): Call her up and tell her I’m working!
Stanley (Stan Laurel): You don’t know my wife.  She’ll never believe that.
Oliver (Oliver Hardy): If she was dumb enough to marry you, she’ll believe anything!

Busybody: Far be it for me, Mr. Laurel, to talk about anybody, but … don’t trust any man. I’ve had five of ’em, and I know!

Stanley (Stan Laurel): Do you mind if I smoke?
Oliver’s Blackmailer (Mae Busch): I don’t care if you burn up!

Stanley (Stan Laurel): [as the blackmailer is trying to wrest the telephone from him] Hey Ollie, you’ll have to hurry! I can’t get organized!

Oliver’s Blackmailer (Mae Busch): Give me that key!

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