Advantages to being over 50 — I knew there had to be something ‘¦
- Kidnappers are not very interested in you
- In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first
- People call at 9 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you?”
- People no longer view you as a hypochondriac
- There’s nothing left to learn the hard way
- Things you buy now won’t wear out
- You can live without sex ‘¦ but not without glasses
- You enjoy hearing about other people’s operations
- You have a party and the neighbors don’t even realize it
- You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge
- You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who enters the room
- You sing along with elevator music
- Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off
- Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the National Weather Service
- Your secrets are safe with your friends, because they can’t remember then either