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Advantages to being over 50

Advantages to being over 50 — I knew there had to be something ‘€¦

  • Kidnappers are not very interested in you
  • In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first
  • People call at 9 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you?”
  • People no longer view you as a hypochondriac
  • There’s nothing left to learn the hard way
  • Things you buy now won’t wear out
  • You can live without sex ‘€¦ but not without glasses
  • You enjoy hearing about other people’s operations
  • You have a party and the neighbors don’t even realize it
  • You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge
  • You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who enters the room
  • You sing along with elevator music
  • Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off
  • Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the National Weather Service
  • Your secrets are safe with your friends, because they can’t remember then either


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