One line Animal Christmas Jokes – A collection of one-liner Christmas jokes that feature animals, such as “Can I have a dog for Christmas? No, you can have turkey like everyone else!”
- What do elephants sing at Christmas?
Noel-ephants Noel-ephants…! - What do you get when you cross a bell with a skunk?
Jingle smells! - What is white, lives at the north pole and runs around naked?
A polar bare! - What kind of pine has the sharpest needles?
A porcupine! - Why don’t penguins fly?
Because they’re too short to be pilots! - “Do you ever buy any Christmas Seals?”
“No, I wouldn’t know how to feed them.” - What is green, covered with tinsel and goes “ribbet ribbet”?
A mistle-“toad”! - What do wild animals sing at Christmastime?
Jungle bells, jungle bells, jungle all the way! - What is the best key to get at Christmas?
A turkey! - How do Chihuahuas say Merry Christmas?
Fleas Navidog! - How do sheep greet each other at Christmas?
A merry Christmas to ewe! - What do you call a cat on a beach at Christmas?
Sandy Claws! - What kind of bird can write?
A PENguin! - Why do birds fly south in the winter?
Because it’s too far to walk! - Where do polar bears go to vote?
At the North Poll - What do sheep say to Santa?
Seasons bleatings! - What do you call a penguin wearing ear muffs?
Anything, he can’t hear you! - Who delivers Christmas presents to pets?
Santa Paws - What did Santa get when he crossed a woodpecker with kleenex?
Rapping paper! - What’s the most boring animal?
A polar bore! - What sort of insects love snow?
Mo-ski-toes! - Mum, Can I have a dog for Christmas ?
No, you can have turkey like everyone else ! - Who is never hungry at Christmas ?
The turkey – he’s always stuffed ! - What bird has wings but cannot fly?
Roast turkey! - Whats the best thing to put into a Christmas cake?
Your teeth! - What happens if you eat the Christmas decorations?
You get tinsel-itus ! - Mother bought a huge turkey for Christmas dinner.
“That must have cost a fortune!” I said.
“Actually I got it for a poultry amount,” she said. - A man went to a butcher’s and saw that the turkeys were 90 cents a pound. He said to the butcher, “Do you raise them yourself?”
“Of course I do,” the butcher replied. “They were only 50 cents a pound this morning!” - How do you tell the difference between tinned turkey and tinned custard?
Look at the labels! - Did you hear about the stupid turkey?
It was looking forward to Christmas! - What’s brown and creeps around the house?
Mince spies! - How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?
Deep pan, crisp and even! - What did the grape say to the peanut butter?
“Tis the season to be jelly!” - What do you drain Christmas dinner brussel sprouts with?
An advent colander! - What’s the most common wine at Christmas?
Do I have to have the brussel sprouts?