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One line Animal Christmas Jokes

One line Animal Christmas Jokes – A collection of one-liner Christmas jokes that feature animals, such as “Can I have a dog for Christmas? No, you can have turkey like everyone else!”

  • What do elephants sing at Christmas?
    Noel-ephants Noel-ephants…!
  • What do you get when you cross a bell with a skunk?
    Jingle smells!
  • What is white, lives at the north pole and runs around naked?
    A polar bare!
  • What kind of pine has the sharpest needles?
    A porcupine!
  • Why don’t penguins fly?
    Because they’re too short to be pilots!
  • “Do you ever buy any Christmas Seals?”
    “No, I wouldn’t know how to feed them.”
  • What is green, covered with tinsel and goes “ribbet ribbet”?
    A mistle-“toad”!
  • What do wild animals sing at Christmastime?
    Jungle bells, jungle bells, jungle all the way!
  • What is the best key to get at Christmas?
    A turkey!
  • How do Chihuahuas say Merry Christmas?
    Fleas Navidog!
  • How do sheep greet each other at Christmas?
    A merry Christmas to ewe!
  • What do you call a cat on a beach at Christmas?
    Sandy Claws!
  • What kind of bird can write?
    A PENguin!
  • Why do birds fly south in the winter?
    Because it’s too far to walk!
  • Where do polar bears go to vote?
    At the North Poll
  • What do sheep say to Santa?
    Seasons bleatings!
  • What do you call a penguin wearing ear muffs?
    Anything, he can’t hear you!
  • Who delivers Christmas presents to pets?
    Santa Paws
  • What did Santa get when he crossed a woodpecker with kleenex?
    Rapping paper!
  • What’s the most boring animal?
    A polar bore!
  • What sort of insects love snow?
  • Mum, Can I have a dog for Christmas ?
    No, you can have turkey like everyone else !
  • Who is never hungry at Christmas ?
    The turkey – he’s always stuffed !
  • What bird has wings but cannot fly?
    Roast turkey!
  • Whats the best thing to put into a Christmas cake?
    Your teeth!
  • What happens if you eat the Christmas decorations?
    You get tinsel-itus !
  • Mother bought a huge turkey for Christmas dinner.
    “That must have cost a fortune!” I said.
    “Actually I got it for a poultry amount,” she said.
  • A man went to a butcher’s and saw that the turkeys were 90 cents a pound. He said to the butcher, “Do you raise them yourself?”
    “Of course I do,” the butcher replied. “They were only 50 cents a pound this morning!”
  • How do you tell the difference between tinned turkey and tinned custard?
    Look at the labels!
  • Did you hear about the stupid turkey?
    It was looking forward to Christmas!
  • What’s brown and creeps around the house?
    Mince spies!
  • How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?
    Deep pan, crisp and even!
  • What did the grape say to the peanut butter?
    “Tis the season to be jelly!”
  • What do you drain Christmas dinner brussel sprouts with?
    An advent colander!
  • What’s the most common wine at Christmas?
    Do I have to have the brussel sprouts?

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