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Funny movie quotes from The Fuller Brush Man

Funny movie quotes from The Fuller Brush Man starring Red Skelton

Funny movie quotes from Red Skelton’s first blockbuster movie, ‘The Fuller Brush Man’, co-starring Janet Blair

Red Jones (Red Skelton): So what if I was late to a fire? I saved the house.
Ann Elliot (Janet Blair): By that the the house had already burnt to the ground.
Red Jones (Red Skelton): But I saved it; I’€™ve got the ashes at home in a little box.


Wallick: I bet you told the commissioner off.
Red Jones (Red Skelton): I gave him a piece of my mind.
Wallick: That’€™ll set him back a couple of years.


Ann Elliot (Janet Blair): Give him a chance.
Wallick: Okay, but it’€™s like watering a weed with champagne.


‘€œBaby’€: When I ask men to do something, they eat out of my hand.
Red Jones (Red Skelton): I’€™ve already had my lunch.


‘€œBaby’€: They can’€™t get me out of their blood.
Red Jones (Red Skelton): This is no time for a transfusion.


Red Jones (Red Skelton): Stop squeezing my Adam’€™s apple!
Commisioner Trist [choking Red]: I’€™m not squeezing your Adam’€™s apple!
Red Jones (Red Skelton): Then why am I tasting cider?

Police officer: [holding out Fuller Brush case] Who gets this?
Red Jones (Red Skelton): I might as well take it – I always get left holding the bag.


Red Jones (Red Skelton): [giving skirt back, after having accidentally ripped it] Put that on!
Sara Franzen: Where?
Red Jones (Red Skelton): Same place you had it before!


Freddie: [going to hide in the kitchen] Let her in!  And remember, this gun is loaded.
Red Jones (Red Skelton): So’€™s the kitchen.


Lt. Quint: Are you with him or against him?
Ann Elliot (Janet Blair): With him … when he’€™s in trouble.
Red Jones (Red Skelton): Isn’€™t it wonderful? I’€™m always in trouble.


Red Jones (Red Skelton): That’€™s right son, I used to be a big game hunter.  It got so I didn’€™t have to shoot the critters, they see me coming, they just up and surrendered.


Red Jones (Red Skelton): Don’€™t stop me if you’€™ve heard it, because I’€™m dying to hear it again.  It seems there was a fellow about to be electrocuted, and the warden said to him, ‘€œDo you have any last wish?’€ The man says, ‘€œYeah, I wish you was sitting on my lap.’€


Ann Elliot (Janet Blair): If she weren’t guilty, she would have never denied buying those brushes.
Red Jones (Red Skelton): That’€™s her story, but her husband got stuck with it.


Criminal: What do you mean, extra aces?
Red Jones (Red Skelton): I saw you hide them under the blotter.  Murder’€™s one thing, but cheating at cards’€”tsk tsk.  You oughta be ashamed of yourself.


Radio, with businessman listening: An now, we shall hear the senator from Massachuessets, who will speak on what the government should do about big business.
Red Jones (Red Skelton): [interrupting radio broadcast] Blow ‘€˜em up! Blow ‘€˜em up! Hurry! Blow ‘€˜em up!
Businessman: That’€™s the Democrats for you!


Red Jones (Red Skelton): Fine camouflage net, everywhere I go, they see me!


Red Jones (Red Skelton): [kisses Ann, then blows out smoke] What a kiss.
Ann Elliot (Janel Blair): [blows out smoke] What a Fuller Brush Man.


Wallick: Arrest that man!
Lt. Quint: [as Red and Ann are kissing] Why, is there a law against it?

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