Home » Funny quotes » Confucius says

Confucius says

Confucius says – The ‘wisdom’ of Confucius?

  • Man who have clear conscience usually have bad memory, too
  • Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes will soon burn out
  • When dentist say ‘€œopen wide’€ does he mean mouth or wallet?
  • Marriage is like playing poker’€”begin with a pair and end with a full house
  • Man who run behind car soon get exhausted
  • Even the greatest of whales is helpless in middle of desert
  • Man who open car door for girlfriend reveal one thing: either car is new or girlfriend is new
  • He who sitteth on an upturned tack with surely rise
  • Man who crosses the ocean twice without washing is a dirty double crosser
  • Man who put head on Railroad track to listen for train likely to wake up with splitting headache
  • He who thinks only of number one must realize that this number is next to nothing
  • Woman who puts detergent on top shelf, jumps for Joy
  • Behind every successful man is good woman’€”and very surprised mother-in-law
  • Man who sit on tack gets the point!
  • Man who fall in molten glass make spectacle of himself
  • War doesn’€™t determine who is right, but who is left
  • Work to become, not to acquire
  • A man who has bird in hand finds it hard to blow nose
  • Man with one chopstick go hungry
  • Man who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusion
  • No husband ever been shot while he do dishes
  • Man who pushes piano down mineshaft get tone of A flat miner
  • When man bring wife for no reason, there usually reason
  • Man who cut himself while shaving lose face
  • He who place head in sand will get kicked in the
  • Man who keep both feet firmly planted on ground have trouble putting on pants
  • Those who quote me are fools.


2 thoughts on “Confucius says

  1. Boghos L. Artinian MD says:

    “Anyone can find the switch after the lights are on.”

    This quote is attributed to Confucius; unfortunately there were no switches nor light bulbs during his lifetime.

    1. admin says:

      You realize that these are all jokes, right?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: