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Funny movie quotes from High Society

Funny movie quotes from High Society (1956), starring Bing Crosby, Grace Kelly, Frank Sinatra

Mike: Don’t dig that kind of crooning, chum.
Dexter: You must be one of the newer fellows.

Mike: [Dexter is carrying a morning-after-the-night-before drink for Sam] Is that for me?
Dexter: It’s for Sam, you want one?
Mike: You know how I feel about my grandmother but I’d sell her for a drink.
Dexter: Uncle Willie’s in the pantry doing weird and wonderful things with healing waters. Tell him you’d like one of the same.
Mike: Can I ask for two?
Dexter: Keep going till you run out of grandmothers.
Mike: I’ll be drinking a long time.

Dexter: Liz, you’re in love with Connor aren’t you?
Liz Imbrie: People ask the darnedest questions.
Dexter: Why don’t you marry him?
Liz Imbrie: I’m gonna pretend I didn’t hear that.
Dexter: I said why don’t you marry him?
Liz Imbrie: He’s still got a lot to learn. I don’t want to get in his way for a while.
Dexter: Supposing some other girl comes along in the meantime.
Liz Imbrie: I guess I’d just scratch her eyes out. Unless that is she was marrying someone else the next day.
Dexter: You’re quite a girl Liz.
Liz Imbrie: I don’t know. I take nice pictures though.

Liz Imbrie: Mike, if I ever am in your way. Don’t honk, just run over me.

Mike: I’m gonna dance.
Dexter: Don’t get hurt.

Mike: She’s a lovely girl.
Tracy: Yes, isn’t she? Ah, but we’re afraid she has a homicidal streak.

Mrs. Lord: Tracy, look at the way she does her hair.
Tracy: Oh, yes, it’s lovely. Is it lacquered?

Tracy: Do you like my dress?
Uncle Willie: Oh yes, it’s quite beautiful.
Tracy: It’s awfully heavy.

Uncle Willie: My dear boy, this is the sort of day history tells us is better spent in bed.

Tracy: Look everybody, it’s Uncle Willy! Wasn’t it nice of Uncle Willy to surprise us?

Dexter: Uncle Willy, this morning you look like a tree full of owls

Mike: Mr. Kittredge, it may interest you to know that our so-called affair consisted of exactly two kisses and one rather late swim both of which I thoroughly enjoyed and the memory of which I wouldn’t part with for anything. After which I returned here, carried her to her room, deposited her on her bed and promptly returned here which you will no doubt remember.
George Kittredge: That’s all?
Mike: That’s all.
Tracy: Why? Was I so cold? So forbidding?
Mike: Not at all. On the contrary but you were somewhat the worse or the better for the wine and there are rules about such things.

George Kittredge: That sounds like Tracy’s voice.
Dexter: No, no. It’s just the night watchman.
George Kittredge: It’s a woman’s voice.
Dexter: Well he’s a lyric tenor you see.

Mrs. Lord: George told us what happened. Your father will make an announcement.
Tracy: Oh thank you. No, no, I got myself into this, I’ll get myself out. Ooh.
Dexter: Go. Go.
Tracy: [Opens the door to address the guests] Good morning
[to the organist]
Tracy: Will you stop that racket? Good morning. I’m afraid there’s been a slight hitch. My fiancé that was… that is… he’s decided we should call it a day and I quite agree with him and… oh Dexter help me please?
Dexter: Say “two years ago I did you out of a wedding in this house by eloping to Maryland”
Tracy: Two years ago I did you out of a wedding in this house by eloping to Maryland.
Dexter: “But I hope to make it up to you now by going through with it as originally planned.”
Tracy: But I hope to make it up to you now by…
[looks at Dexter, he nods and smiles]
Tracy: by going through with it as originally and most beautifully planned.
Dexter: “So if you’ll just keep your seats a moment”
Tracy: So if you’ll just keep your lovely seats a moment
Dexter: “That’s all”
Tracy: That’s all
[shuts the door]
Tracy: . Oh Dexter, are you sure?
Dexter: No, but I’ll risk it if you will.
Tracy: You’re not just doing it to save my face?
Dexter: It’s such a sweet old face.

Tracy: One thing’s for sure. You’re well rid of me.
Dexter: Oh, no, no-one can say that but me.

Dexter: Hey, skipper, when do we eat?
Tracy: Now.
Dexter: Boy, you’ve been at it long enough.
Tracy: It’s bride’s prerogative.
Dexter: It’s just I don’t like you out of my sight for so long.
Tracy: That’s nice.

Mrs. Lord: This is Miss Elizabeth Imbrie and Mr. Mike Macauley Connor. They’re from Spy magazine.
Dexter: Spy? Say your tastes have changed a little haven’t they, Sam?

Dexter: You’ll find it under Harvard Classics. Just give Darwin a little nudge.

Mike: We’ll go over the wall. Whose car should we use?
Tracy: Any one.
Mike: How about that blue one?
Tracy: Oh no, that’s mine!

Mike: Have you heard the story of a boy a girl, unrequited love?
Dexter: Sounds like pure soap opera.
Mike: I may cry.
Dexter: Tune in tomorrow.

Caroline Lord: What’s this?
[holds up a weird silver object]
Mrs. Lord: I don’t know dear.
Caroline Lord: It stinks.
Mrs. Lord: Caroline, don’t say stinks. If absolutely necessary, smells, but only if absolutely necessary.

Caroline Lord: Mother, don’t you think it’s stinking of Tracy not to invite father to the wedding?
Mrs. Lord: Yes, just between us, I think it’s good and stinking.

Uncle Willie: I can’t find Liz.
Dexter: I think I just saw someone wander out on to the terrace. Alone.
Uncle Willie: You don’t say. The little vixen!
Dexter: Ollie ollie oxen free!
[Liz comes out of hiding]
Dexter: What’s the matter? Uncle Willie giving you a little trouble?
Liz Imbrie: That man’s gonna wind up a juvenile delinquent mark my words.

Liz Imbrie: Well, since Mike’s disappeared I may as well go home.
Dexter: How about I take you home, then everybody will come looking for us.
Liz Imbrie: That’s the nicest thing I’ve heard all night.

Mike: You know how I feel about my grandmother but I’d sell her for a drink.

Liz Imbrie: Were you by any chance playing footsie with me at lunch?
Mike: From where I sat?
Liz Imbrie: I didn’t think your reach was that good. Seth Lord has a roving eye *and* foot.

Mike: [on telephone] This is the voice of doom.
Mrs. Lord: What?
Mike: This is to tell you your days are numbered.
[hangs up]
Mrs. Lord: Oh dear. One of the servants has been at the sherry again.

Caroline Lord: Dexter, are you ever going to get married again?
Dexter: Sure I am, I’m just waiting for you to grow up.
Caroline Lord: Oh Dexter, for you I’ll hurry.
Dexter: You’re gonna have to.

Mike: Hands up!
Tracy: Oh it’s you! Go away.
Mike: Where are you going?
Tracy: Some place and dance.
Mike: But they’re dancing in there.
Tracy: I know but George is frowning at me and I can’t dance when anyone frowns at me.

Dexter: They met in a hole in the ground.

Liz Imbrie: Elegant junk.
Mike: It’s shiny.

Mike: Who wants to be a millionaire?
Liz Imbrie: I don’t.

Mike: Would you have four footmen bring me a large ashtray.
Liz Imbrie: Mike, be careful what you say. We may be wired for sound.

Mike: She can’t be for real.
Liz Imbrie: Who was doing the interviewing?
Mike: You think she was born that way?
Liz Imbrie: Nah. Takes years.

Tracy: Isn’t it a fine day. Is everybody fine? That’s fine.

Mike: Hey, Liz.
Liz Imbrie: Huh?
Mike: Look at all the loot they’ve collected.
Liz Imbrie: They must run a hockshop on the side.

Louis Armstrong: You could play football in this room.
Dexter: I know, but can you rehearse?
Louis Armstrong: Is that chandelier tied tight up there?
Dexter: If it gets to swinging a little put a mute in your horn.

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