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Why God never got tenure…

  1. Because He had only one publication.
  2. And it was in Hebrew.
  3. And it had no references.
  4. And it wasn’t published in a refereed journal.
  5. And some even doubt He wrote it himself.
  6. It may be true that He created the world, but what has He done since then?
  7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
  8. The scientific community has had a very rough time replicating His results.
  9. He never applied to the Ethics Board for permission to use human subjects.
  10. When one experiment went awry, He tried to cover it up by drowning the subjects.
  11. When subjects didn’t behave as predicted, He often punished them, or just deleted them from the sample.
  12. He rarely came to class, just told His students to read the Book.
  13. He had His son teach the class.
  14. He expelled His first two students for learning.
  15. Although there were only ten requirements, most students failed His tests.
  16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

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