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Still more witty sayings for lexophiles

Still more witty sayings for lexophiles – If you like playing with words and their meanings, you’ll appreciate this list of puns

  • A bicycle can’€™t stand alone; it is two tired.
  • A will is a dead giveaway.
  • Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana. (Groucho Marx)
  • A backward poet writes inverse.
  • In a democracy it’€™s your vote that counts; in feudalism, it’€™s your Count that votes.
  • A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
  • If you don’€™t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
  • With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
  • Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I’€™ll show you A-flat miner.
  • When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
  • The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine has fully recovered.
  • A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
  • You are stuck with your debt if you can’€™t budge it.
  • Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.
  • He broke into song because he couldn’€™t find the key.
  • A calendar’€™s days are numbered.
  • A lot of money is tainted: ‘€˜Taint yours, and ‘€˜taint mine.
  • A boiled egg is hard to beat.
  • He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
  • A plateau is a high form of flattery.
  • The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large. (But as they say, a well-done medium is rare)
  • Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
  • When you’€™ve seen one shopping center you’€™ve seen a mall.
  • If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
  • When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’€™d dye.
  • Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
  • Santa’€™s helpers are subordinate clauses.
  • Acupuncture: a jab well done.
  • Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.

Note: No trees were killed in the sending of this message, but a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.

 

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