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Funny movie quotes from A Pain in the Pullman

Funny movie quotes from A Pain in the Pullman starring the Three Stooges

Sign: Mrs. Hammond Eggerley’s Theatrical Apt’s – 26 rooms – 2 bath tubs =Rates= $4 per week up Mostly Up

Curly (Curly Howard): [looking in a cookbook with their monkey Joe on his shoulder] There’s someplace in this book that says how to cook a monkey. [Joe lightly raps him on the head a few times]
Moe (Moe Howard): Joe’s right, we can’t eat the act.

Curly (Curly Howard): Wait a minute [pulls roasting pan out of the oven, pouring “gravy” over the shoe that he’s cooking for dinner]
Moe (Moe Howard): What’s that?
Curly (Curly Howard): Fillet of sole and heel.

Moe (Moe Howard): [on phone] Yes? Yes. Yes!
Larry (Larry Fine): What is it?
Moe (Moe Howard): Yes!
Curly (Curly Howard): Yes what?
Moe (Moe Howard): A job!

Landlady: And where do you think you’re going without paying the rent?
Moe (Moe Howard): Well, we were just on our way to hock the trunk so we can pay you.
Larry (Larry Fine): Hey, hock a trunk for me, too. [Moe kicks him]
Landlady: Oh, no you don’t.  I’m calling a policeman.
Curly (Curly Howard): Hold it, no sense in calling the police, I’m a G-man.  What’s all the fuss?
Landlady: I want you to arrest these men.
Curly (Curly Howard): [to Moe and Larry] You’re under arrest.  Get that trunk along as evidence. C’mon, get going, c’mon. [to the Landlady] I’€™ll see they get time and a half for overtime, don’t worry about it.
Landlady: Thank you, that’s very nice of you.  [Realizes what just happened] Help, help, police, I’ve been robbed!

On the train

Johnson (Bud Jamison): [hearing the monkey] What’s that I hear?
Moe (Moe Howard): Aw, ya shouldn’t believe everything ya hear.

Paul Pain: I’m Paul Pain, the heartthrob of millions!
Larry (Larry Fine): What’s a heart throb?
Curly (Curly Howard): A pain in the neck! Nyuk nyuk nyuk!

Lunchtime! What is it?

Larry (Larry Fine): Oh, just in time for lunch. [crab is on the table]
Moe (Moe Howard): What is that?
Curly (Curly Howard): Why, ya ignoramus, don’t ya know?
Moe (Moe Howard): No.
Larry (Larry Fine): Well, it looks like a …
Moe (Moe Howard): Well, wiseguys, what is it?
Larry (Larry Fine): Spider.
Curly (Curly Howard): Turtle!
Moe (Moe Howard): Trying to kid somebody, eh? I knew it was a turtle all the time! [hits Larry]

Curly (Curly Howard): Want some?
Actress: Oh, I just love crab!
Curly (Curly Howard): She don’t know it’s a turtle!

Berth marks

Paul Pain: Johnson! Johnson! [Johnson wakes up and hits his head on the berth above]

Moe (Moe Howard): Say, where’s our drawing room?
Johnson (Bud Jamison): Your berth is up there!
Curly (Curly Howard): What, three in one?
Johnson (Bud Jamison): Yeah, what about it?
Curly (Curly Howard): That’s what I thought you said.

Sleeping woman: What’s the matter, dear?
Curly (Curly Howard): I’m looking for Joe!

Sleeping woman: Why didn’t you write?
Curly (Curly Howard): I don’t know your address!

Moe (Moe Howard): [after Curly is thrown on top of him] Ya big lummox, ya wanna give me berth marks?

Curly (Curly Howard): Get your foot out of my vest!
Moe (Moe Howard): You’re spoilin’ the wardrobe!

Moe (Moe Howard): Hey, you! Wake up and go to sleep.

Johnson (Bud Jamison): Aren’t you guys asleep yet?
Curly (Curly Howard): Soitenly! I dreamed we saw a swimming pool, so we dove in.
Johnson (Bud Jamison): Dive back into that berth, or I’ll make you dive off of this train!

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