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Funny movie quotes from The Aristocats

Funny movie quotes from The Aristocats – starring Phil Harris, Eva Gabor

Enjoy the Funny movie quotes from The Aristocats – Disney’s animated classic, about a family of cats that inherit a fortune …. And a whole lot of trouble!

The dogs have an incredible sense of hearing …

Napoleon: Lafayette! Lafayette, listen.
Lafayette: Oh, shucks, Napoleon. That ain’t nothin’ more but a little ol’ cricket bug.
Napoleon: It’s squeaky shoes approachin’.
Lafayette: Oh, cricket bugs don’t wear shoes.
Napoleon: Hush your mouth! Let’s see. They’re Oxford shoes, size nine and a half. Hole in the left sole, it sounds like.
Lafayette: What color are they?
Napoleon: Why, they’re black… Ah, now how would I know that?

Napoleon: Now the squeaking has stopped.
Lafayette: I still say it was a little ol’ cricket bug.
Napoleon: Wait a minute. I’m the leader. I decide what it was. [pause] It was a little ol’ cricket bug.

Napoleon: It’s a motorcycle. Two cylinder. Chain drive. One squeaky wheel, on the front, it sounds like. Now you go for the tires, and I’ll go right for the seat of the problem.
Lafayette: How come you always grab the tender part for yourself?
Napoleon: ‘Cause I outrank you, that’s why. Now, stop beatin’ your gums and sound the attack.
[Lafayette barks]
Napoleon: No, that’s mess call.
Lafayette: Made a mess of it, huh?
Napoleon: You can be replaced, you know.

Sibling kittens fighting

Marie: Ladies don’t start fights, but they can finish them!

Marie: Me first! Me first!
Toulouse the Orange Kitten: Why should you be first?
Marie: Because I’m a lady. That’s why.
Toulouse the Orange Kitten: Oh, you’re not a lady.
Berlioz the Kitten: You’re nothing but a sister!

Roquefort the mouse meets the cats

Scat Cat: What’s a little swinger like you doing on our side of town?
Roquefort the Mouse: Please! I was sent for help, by a cat.
Scat Cat: Why that’s outrageous! It’s crazy!
[cats laugh]
Roquefort the Mouse: But honest! He said just to mention his name.
Russian Cat: So, start mentioning name, rodent.
Roquefort the Mouse: Now, don’t rush me, fellas. His name is… O’Toole.
Scat Cat: I don’t dig him. Strike one.
Roquefort the Mouse: O’Brian?
Scat Cat: Strike two.
Roquefort the Mouse: Oh boy… You believe me, don’t you?
English Cat: Keep talkin’, Mousey.
Roquefort the Mouse: How about… O’… Grady?
Scat Cat: [reveals a claw] Mousey, you’ve just struck out. [Holds it close to him] Any last words?
Roquefort the Mouse: [looks terrified, then frustrated] Oh, why did I ever listen to that O’Malley cat?
Scat Cat: O’Malley?

The Geese

Abigail Gabble: Amelia, if I walk any further, I’ll get flat feet.
Amelia Gabble: Abigail, we were born with flat feet.

Amelia Gabble: I am Amelia Gabble. And this is my sister.
Abigail Gabble: Abigail Gabble.
Amelia Gabble: We’re twin sisters.
Abigail Gabble: In fact, you could say we’re related.

Duchess: Thomas, this is Amelia and Abigail Gabble.
Thomas O’Malley: Yeah, honey. Get those two web-footed lifeguards out of here.
Duchess: Now, now, Thomas.
Thomas O’Malley: Okay. Okay, baby. [to the geese] Hiya, chicks.
[Abigail and Amelia Gabble laugh]
Abigail Gabble: We’re not chickens. We’re geese.
Thomas O’Malley: [sarcastically] No. I thought you were swans.

Uncle Waldo: It’s outrageous! Why, you won’t believe what they tried to do to your poor Uncle Waldo. Look! Look at this! [reading from menu of Le Petit Cafe] “Prime Country Goose A la Provencale, stuffed with chestnuts”…? “And basted in white wine.” Hic!
Thomas O’Malley: Basted? He’s been marinated in it.
Uncle Waldo: Dreadful! Being British, I would’ve preferred sherry.

Thomas O’Malley: You know something? I like Uncle Waldo.
Duchess: [laughs] Especially when he’s marinated.

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