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Funny movie quotes from Speak Easily

Funny movie quotes from Speak Easily, a comedy starring Buster Keaton, Jimmy Durante, Thelma Todd

Butler coercing the Professor to go out into the world

Jenkins: Professor, if you’d only go out and find life, you’ll enjoy living it.
Professor Post (Buster Keaton): Oh, but, Jenkins, how often have I told you, that requires money. And I have saved, in 12 years, exactly $4,564.23. I’m saving that for a rainy day.
Jenkins: Yes sir. Poor Professor Pervison said that and it rained the day they buried him.

Professor Post (Buster Keaton):: I have thought of getting a broadening experience. But, a person in my position can’t very well afford indulgent whims.

Everyone’s a critic

Reno: No wonder the show does only $42 last night. What the troupe needs is a comedian!
James (Jimmy Durante): Say, where do you get that stuff? Didn’t you hear them clap when I came out?
Reno: They wasn’t clappin’. They was only killin’ mosquitos.

Reno: You haven’t got a gag that’d get a giggle!

James (Jimmy Durante): A guy goes into a second hand store and he says to the man, “Is this a second hand store?” And the man says, “Yes.” Then, the guy says, “Well, give me a second hand for my watch.”
Professor Post (Buster Keaton):: Was he furnished with a second hand?
James (Jimmy Durante): [to Reno] It’s too subtle. It went over his head like a trapeze act.

At the train

James (Jimmy Durante): Well, goodbye Professor. Don’t do anything I would!

Rehearsal

Eleanor Espere (Thelma Todd): I think I know what the Professor wants. Does it go something like this?
[begins dancing]
Professor Post (Buster Keaton):: That’s something like it. Only there should be more sensuosity of the hips. Such as [demonstrates].
Eleanor Espere (Thelma Todd): Oh, you mean like this! Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da…
Professor Post (Buster Keaton):: Now that is authentic.
Eleanor Espere (Thelma Todd): Uh-huh.
Professor Post (Buster Keaton):: But it would be much more effective – if you were in the nude.
James (Jimmy Durante): Professor, Professor. That’s out. No nudes!
Professor Post (Buster Keaton):: But, James, it was done so in Athens.
James (Jimmy Durante): Yeah, they might get away with that in Athens. That’s a college town!

gold digger trying to get the Professor to propose marriage

Eleanor Espere (Thelma Todd): Tell me, Timmy. Have you ever seriously thought of marriage?
Professor Post (Buster Keaton): Yes… that’s why I’m single.

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