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Funny movie quotes from Scotched in Scotland, starring the Three Stooges

Funny movie quotes from Scotched in Scotland –  a very funny Three Stooges short film with Moe, Larry and Shemp as inept detectives trying to find the thieves in a haunted castle in Scotland.

The Three Stooges - Scotched in Scotland movie posterFunny movie quotes from Scotched in Scotland starring the Three Stooges (Moe Howard, Larry Fine, Shemp Howard)

Dean Gonga: I’ve decided to give you boys your diplomas in private, ’cause you graduated with the lowest honors in our school’s history!
Moe, Larry & Shemp: Gee thanks, Dean Gonga, you’re a swell guy!!

Title: Glenheather Castle on the Bonny Banks of Scotland — but ’tis late and the Bonny Banks are closed

McShemp (Shemp Howard): Look at the size of this shack!

McLarry (Larry Fine): Train leaving on track 4 — all aboard!

McShemp (Shemp Howard): [in a kilt] Hey, Moe, is my slip showing?

McMoe (Moe Howard): Meet McLarry, McShemp, and I’m McMoe.
McShemp (Shemp Howard): Hiya, Mac!

The Earl: Lads, my secretary!
Lorna Doone (Christine McIntyre): Nice to know ye, laddies.
McMoe (Moe Howard): A charming bit of thistledown if I do say so myself.

McLarry (Larry Fine): And what might your name be, lass?
Lorna Doone (Christine McIntyre):: Perhaps you’ve heard it — ’tis Lorna Doone.
McShemp (Shemp Howard): Hi Lorna, how ya Doone?

The Earl: Ye must be a bit weary after your long journey.
McMoe (Moe Howard): Aye.
McShemp (Shemp Howard): Aye!
McLarry (Larry Fine): Aye-yi-yi!

The Earl: And what part of Scotland are you from?
McMoe (Moe Howard): He’s from the southern part of Scotland, below the McMason-McDixon line.

[after The Earl has given the Stooges a smell of the cork from his bottle of whiskey]
McShemp (Shemp Howard): When he said a sniff, he wasn’t kidding!
The Earl: [offering the cork] Have another?
McShemp (Shemp Howard): No thanks, I’m driving.

The Earl: I want you to guard my valuables tonight, for I’m off to a gathering of the clan.
McShemp (Shemp Howard): Oh, a clan bake, eh?

McShemp (Shemp Howard): I feel kinda edgy myself; I ought to take something for my nerves.
McMoe (Moe Howard): Like what?
McShemp (Shemp Howard): A trip home.

McShemp (Shemp Howard): [to Lorna Doone, caught red-handed] So that’s what ya been Doone, Lorna.

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