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Funny movie quotes from Scotched in Scotland, starring the Three Stooges

Funny movie quotes from Scotched in Scotland –  a very funny Three Stooges short film with Moe, Larry and Shemp as inept detectives trying to find the thieves in a haunted castle in Scotland.

Funny movie quotes from Scotched in Scotland starring the Three Stooges (Moe Howard, Larry Fine, Shemp Howard)

Funny movie quotes from Scotched in Scotland starring the Three Stooges (Moe Howard, Larry Fine, Shemp Howard)

Dean Gonga: I’ve decided to give you boys your diplomas in private, ’cause you graduated with the lowest honors in our school’s history!
Moe, Larry & Shemp: Gee thanks, Dean Gonga, you’re a swell guy!!


Title: Glenheather Castle on the Bonny Banks of Scotland — but ’tis late and the Bonny Banks are closed


McShemp (Shemp Howard): Look at the size of this shack!


McLarry (Larry Fine): Train leaving on track 4 — all aboard!


McShemp (Shemp Howard): [in a kilt] Hey, Moe, is my slip showing?


McMoe (Moe Howard): Meet McLarry, McShemp, and I’m McMoe.
McShemp (Shemp Howard): Hiya, Mac!


The Earl: Lads, my secretary!
Lorna Doone (Christine McIntyre): Nice to know ye, laddies.
McMoe (Moe Howard): A charming bit of thistledown if I do say so myself.


McLarry (Larry Fine): And what might your name be, lass?
Lorna Doone (Christine McIntyre):: Perhaps you’ve heard it — ’tis Lorna Doone.
McShemp (Shemp Howard): Hi Lorna, how ya Doone?


The Earl: Ye must be a bit weary after your long journey.
McMoe (Moe Howard): Aye.
McShemp (Shemp Howard): Aye!
McLarry (Larry Fine): Aye-yi-yi!


The Earl: And what part of Scotland are you from?
McMoe (Moe Howard): He’s from the southern part of Scotland, below the McMason-McDixon line.


[after The Earl has given the Stooges a smell of the cork from his bottle of whiskey]
McShemp (Shemp Howard): When he said a sniff, he wasn’t kidding!
The Earl: [offering the cork] Have another?
McShemp (Shemp Howard): No thanks, I’m driving.


The Earl: I want you to guard my valuables tonight, for I’m off to a gathering of the clan.
McShemp (Shemp Howard): Oh, a clan bake, eh?


McShemp (Shemp Howard): I feel kinda edgy myself; I ought to take something for my nerves.
McMoe (Moe Howard): Like what?
McShemp (Shemp Howard): A trip home.


McShemp (Shemp Howard): [to Lorna Doone, caught red-handed] So that’s what ya been Doone, Lorna.


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