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Funny movie quotes from Our Relations

Funny movie quotes from Our Relations – a very funny Laurel and Hardy film, where Stan and Ollie’s twin brothers come to town, causing all sorts of confusion. Oh, their poor wives!

Stan: Shakespeare.
Ollie: Longfellow. What goes up the chimney?
Stan: Santa Claus.

Finn: [hands Hardy a bill] Here, have yourselves a fling.
Bert Hardy: A dollar? We can’t do much flinging on a dollar.

Stan: Shakespeare.
Ollie: Longfellow.
Stan: What goes up the chimney?
Ollie: Smoke.

Bert Hardy: [Stranded in a hotel with no clothes, Laurel suggests they dress up like the “fellas that look like Eskimos” in “Singapore” – using bed quilts and towels as their set of clothes] That sounds screwy to me. But, any old port in a storm.
Alf Laurel: It might be a good idea.
Bert Hardy: You’ve gotta be right once in your life!

Twins at the bar

Bert Hardy: Garcon? Garcon?
Joe Grogan: What do you mean Garcon? Grogan’s the name. What’ll you have?
Bert Hardy: Why, I’d like a nice, large, cold flagon of beer.
Joe Grogan: What’s yours?
Alf Laurel: Bring me two nice, clean straws that haven’t been used.
Joe Grogan: [comes back to the table with beer and straws] That’ll be a quarter.
Bert Hardy: A quarter? What for?
Joe Grogan: Ten cents for the beer and fifteen cents for the straws.

Stan: What would you like Bubbles?
Mrs. Betty ‘Bubbles’ Laurel: Now, don’t rush me, lover. I think I’ll have a nice Welsh Rarebit.
Joe Grogan: One Welsh Rarebit.
Stan: With cheese.
Joe Grogan: With cheese.
[Double-take stare at Stan]

Stan and Ollie at the bar

Alice: [At Denker’s Beer Garden] Joe, who are these men?
Joe Grogan: When they were here before, they called themselves Mr. Laurel and Mr. Hardy.
Mrs. Daphne Hardy: [Slaps the table] That’s all I want to know!
[to Ollie]
Mrs. Daphne Hardy: Pay the check and let’s get outta here.
Alice: Yes, pay it! We’ve been waiting two hours for you to bail us out. Bye-bye, baby face!
Mrs. Daphne Hardy: So, you went to a Punch and Judy show, huh!

Ollie: I’m going to teach them a lesson.
Stan: How do you mean?
Ollie: We are going to stay out all night! And we are not going home until they come to us and apologize!
Stan: That’s a good idea. We’ll give them enough rope so we can hang ourselves.

At the restaurant

Mrs. Daphne Hardy: [Stops the desert cart] Pardon me. [to Laurel] Hey you, give me a hand.
[They each pick up a side of a giant birthday cake]
Mrs. Daphne Hardy: One, two, three.
[… and drop it on Hardy’s head]
Mrs. Daphne Hardy: Happy Birthday, to you.
Alf Laurel: This isn’t his birthday?
Mrs. Daphne Hardy: Never the less – Many Happy Returns. Come on, Betty, this is final!
[Storms off with Betty Laurel]
Bert Hardy: What did you want to go help her for?
Alf Laurel: Well I didn’t know what she was going to do.
Bert Hardy: That’s right, you wouldn’t.


Alf Laurel: You’re sure lookin’ good, Stanley. But, how you have altered.
Stan: You’ve altered too, but, you haven’t changed a bit.

[Last lines]
Ollie: That Laurel is the dumbest thing I ever saw.
Bert Hardy: The other one is too.
Ollie: You’re absolutely right, Bert. Neither one of them can see any further than the end of their nose.
[Ollie and Bert walk off the pier into the bay]

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