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Funny movie quotes from Don’t Give Up the Ship

Funny movie quotes from Don’t Give Up the Ship – Jerry Lewis comedy, where he’s lost a destroyer during World War II. And the Navy wants it back!

Ens. Rita J. Benson (Dina Merrill): Lieutenant, I know you’re the victim of one of the biggest boo-boos in the history of the U.S. Navy.
John Paul Steckler VII (Jerry Lewis): Yeah, I am.
Ens. Rita J. Benson (Dina Merrill): I’ve looked over your record and it’s spotless. You’ve always had the utmost concern for government property.
John Paul Steckler VII (Jerry Lewis): W-well I always DID try my best – except maybe just that one time w-when I painted my seabag all red and cut the two holes in the bottom for my feet.
Ens. Rita J. Benson (Dina Merrill): Your feet?
John Paul Steckler VII (Jerry Lewis): Well, it was a Halloween party, y’ see. I went as a skinless frankfurter.

Ens. Rita J. Benson (Dina Merrill): You can take your shoes off, if you’d like.
John Paul Steckler VII (Jerry Lewis): Oh, thank you. I won’t be as tall, though.

On the USS Cornblatt

John Paul Steckler VII (Jerry Lewis): Now hear this! Now hear this! I want a tight ship! I want an efficient ship! ‘Cause an efficient ship is a happy ship! And a happy ship is a tight ship! And I want everyone to be efficient, happy and tight!

Captured by the Japanese

[unaware that the war is over]
Japanese Officer: Sunrise. Time you die.
John Paul Steckler VII (Jerry Lewis): Before breakfast?

Where’s the Cornblatt?

Vice Adm. Philo Tecumseh Bludde (Robert Middleton): This man is the shrewdest, cleverest undercover agent we’ve ever been up against.
Ens. Rita J. Benson (Dina Merrill): But, sir, I think he’s too dumb to be that smart to play it that stupid.
Vice Adm. Philo Tecumseh Bludde (Robert Middleton): Say that again.

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