Funny movie quotes from Copacabana, a funny movie starring Groucho Marx and Carmen Miranda
Lionel Q. Devereaux (Groucho Marx): Well, Steve Hunt, my life-long pal. You haven’t changed a bit.
Steve Hunt (Steve Cochran): Do I know you?
Lionel Q. Devereaux (Groucho Marx): Do you know me? Lionel Q. Devereaux, your old roommate at Yale?
Steve Hunt (Steve Cochran): I never went to Yale.
Lionel Q. Devereaux (Groucho Marx): Remember those good old days at Erasmus High?
Steve Hunt (Steve Cochran): I never went to Erasmus High.
Lionel Q. Devereaux (Groucho Marx): At least you do remember when we graduated from Public School 27?
Steve Hunt (Steve Cochran): No.
Lionel Q. Devereaux (Groucho Marx): Say, for a man with no education, you’ve done alright.
Lionel Q. Devereaux (Groucho Marx): [handing Carmen’s mink stole to a hat-check girl] Take good care of this, and at ten o’clock give it a saucer of milk.
Carmen Navarro (Carmen Miranda): Why you always chasing women?
Lionel Q. Devereaux (Groucho Marx): I’ll tell you as soon as I catch one.
Lionel Q. Devereaux (Groucho Marx): This is an outrage! You’ll hear from my lawyer! As soon as he gets a telephone!
Carmen Navarro (Carmen Miranda): [trying to sneak into their hotel] Oh Lionel, I can not stand this kind of a life anymore. Why don’t we get married?
Lionel Q. Devereaux (Groucho Marx): Let’s not rush into marriage; we can’t even get into the hotel.
Carmen Navarro (Carmen Miranda): I don’t think you want to marry me.
Lionel Q. Devereaux (Groucho Marx): How can you say that? We’ve been engaged for almost ten years!
Mr. Green: Now listen, Devereaux, you and I both know that that check is no good.
Lionel Q. Devereaux (Groucho Marx): Oh? I thought only I knew it.
Lionel Q. Devereaux (Groucho Marx): Listen, babe.
Copa Girl: Yes?
Lionel Q. Devereaux (Groucho Marx): How’d you like to see your name in lights?
Copa Girl: Why, are you an electrician?
Lionel Q. Devereaux (Groucho Marx): No, but I’ve got some good connections.
Liggett: I’ve got so many clients, they get in my hair!
Lionel Q. Devereaux (Groucho Marx): This guy must handle a flea circus.
Lionel Q. Devereaux (Groucho Marx): You had to go and get cured by penicillin.
Andy Russell: Well, it is good for my throat.
Lionel Q. Devereaux (Groucho Marx): So’s a razor!
Lionel Q. Devereaux (Groucho Marx): How much are your cigars?
Cigarette Girl: They’re a dollar a piece.
Lionel Q. Devereaux (Groucho Marx): I was just browsing… don’t you have any nickel cigars?
Cigarette Girl: Yes, but they’re forty cents.
Lionel Q. Devereaux (Groucho Marx): I’ve got an explanation for this, but I don’t believe it myself.
Anne Stuart (Gloria Jean): Will you ask me again next week?
Andy Russell: Well, next week I have to see my dentist, but maybe the week after.
Andy Russell: [while watching Carmen Navarro dance and sing “Tico Tico No Fubá.”] Plenty of pepper, huh?
Lionel Q. Devereaux (Groucho Marx): And a nice shaker, too.
Lionel Q. Devereaux (Groucho Marx): Say, dream girl, how’d you like to get in the movies?
Copa Girl: Why, have you got any passes?
Lionel Q. Devereaux (Groucho Marx): No, but I could make a few.
Lionel Q. Devereaux (Groucho Marx): I just had a heart-to-heart talk with the manager.
Carmen Navarro (Carmen Miranda): Are they going to throw us out?
Lionel Q. Devereaux (Groucho Marx): Don’t be silly. They wouldn’t throw the best act in show business out of the hotel.
Carmen Navarro (Carmen Miranda): I know, but what about us?
Lionel Q. Devereaux (Groucho Marx): I’m sick and tired of being applauded; making people laugh.
Carmen Navarro (Carmen Miranda): What people?
Hotel Night Clerk (Chester Clute): Mr. Devereaux, I’m sorry to tell you this, but Mr. Green the manager said if your bills aren’t paid by tonight, we’ll be forced to lock you out. Here you are, here’s a bill for Miss Navarro’s room and a bill for your room.
Lionel Q. Devereaux (Groucho Marx): That’s a fine way to treat permanent guests. You realize I’ve run up a bigger bill than anyone else in this hotel? Oh well, why quibble? Let me have a check, a blank one, like that expression on your face.
[begins to fill out check]
Lionel Q. Devereaux (Groucho Marx): What bank do you do business with?
Hotel Night Clerk (Chester Clute): Second National Trust.
Lionel Q. Devereaux (Groucho Marx): Are you sure they’re good for that much money?
Hotel Night Clerk (Chester Clute): Oh, that’s a big bank.
Lionel Q. Devereaux (Groucho Marx): You have to be careful with banks these days; a lot of my checks have been coming back recently.
[hands him the check]
Lionel Q. Devereaux (Groucho Marx): There you are.
Hotel Night Clerk (Chester Clute): Mmm, just one little detail, Mr. Devereaux, you didn’t sign it.
Lionel Q. Devereaux (Groucho Marx): Naturally.
Hotel Night Clerk (Chester Clute): Well, without your signature, it’s worthless.
Lionel Q. Devereaux (Groucho Marx): That’s what you think. It’s perfectly good now, but if I sign it, it really would be worthless.
Hotel Night Clerk (Chester Clute): But I can’t hand Mr. Green an unsigned check.
Lionel Q. Devereaux (Groucho Marx): Oh, trying to influence me to pass bad checks, eh? You know that’s a penitentiary offense?
Lionel Q. Devereaux (Groucho Marx): Girls, I’ve thought it over, you don’t want a career. What you ought to do is settle down, get yourself a husband… anybody’s husband.
Lionel Q. Devereaux (Groucho Marx): [under police interrogation] Listen fellas, I’m as innocent as a babe. Even more innocent. I know some babes who aren’t so innocent.
Lionel Q. Devereaux (Groucho Marx): [on his knees, dramatically pleading his innocence when Fifi/Carmen enters] You had to walk in. Just when I was going good. In a minute I might have been another Peter Lorre.
