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Funny movie quotes from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

Funny movie quotes from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, starring Dick Van Dyke, Sally Ann Howes, Lionel Jeffries

Caracticus Potts (Dick Van Dyke): How was India?
Grandpa (Lionel Jeffries): India? I’ll tell you something. I got up this morning and I shot an elephant in my pajamas.
Caracticus Potts (Dick Van Dyke), Grandpa, Jemima, Jeremy: How he ever got in my pajamas, I shall never know.
Grandpa (Lionel Jeffries): You’ve heard it before.
[they all laugh]

Grandpa (Lionel Jeffries): Nasty smelly things, motorcars!

Caracticus Potts (Dick Van Dyke): Do you think Coggins might do a deal, so much a week?
Grandpa (Lionel Jeffries): Coggins? What, him down the road? Sure. He’s so mean he wouldn’t light your pipe if his house was on fire.

Funny movie quotes from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, starring Dick Van Dyke, Sally Ann Howes, Lionel JeffriesJeremy: I’m so glad you came. It’s much more fun with two grown-ups.
Jemima: Truly Scrumptious. You know, even if we didn’t know your name, we could have guessed it.
Truly Scrumptious (Sally Ann Howes): Oh?
Jemima: You had to be called something lovely.
Jeremy: Like Yum-Yum!
Jemima: Or Angel Cake!
Jeremy: Or Toot Sweets!
Jemima: Yeah, Toot Sweets!
Truly Scrumptious (Sally Ann Howes): [laughs] Or Toot Sweets! Oh, no!

Caracticus Potts (Dick Van Dyke): You’ll find a slight squeeze on the hooter an excellent safety precaution, Miss Scrumptious.

Truly Scrumptious (Sally Ann Howes): Well! I’ve never been…
Caracticus Potts (Dick Van Dyke): Spoken to that way before? Well, maybe it’s about time!

Lord Scrumptious: Too late. Had your chance. Muffed it. Good morning.

Truly Scrumptious (Sally Ann Howes): Wh-what are you going to do?
Caracticus Potts (Dick Van Dyke): I’m going to carry you.
Truly Scrumptious (Sally Ann Howes): Oh… oh, dear. Must you?
Caracticus Potts (Dick Van Dyke): Well, unless you’d rather ride piggyback.

Baron Bomburst (Gert Frobe): [talking over a comical-looking gramophone-style “morning-glory horn” loudspeaker that he lowers down to Grandpa Potts on a long scissor-link extension arm] Good morning. Thiz is your captain speaking. We hope you had a pleasant trip. In a few moments we will be landing in Vulgaria.
Grandpa (Lionel Jeffries): Where?
Baron Bomburst (Gert Frobe): Vul-GARE-ee-ah.
Grandpa (Lionel Jeffries): Oh.
Baron Bomburst (Gert Frobe): So, please fasten your seatbelt, and no smoking. Thank you!
[starts to raise the speaker back up again]
Grandpa (Lionel Jeffries): Thank YOU.
Baron Bomburst (Gert Frobe): [obligingly lowering the loudspeaker again] You’re welcome!

Baron Bomburst (Gert Frobe): Oh, I haven’t seen a good drowning in years.

Jemima: He’s awful!
Jeremy: He’s terrible!
Caracticus Potts (Dick Van Dyke): Not only that, he isn’t even nice.

First Spy: Now then, vhere are we?
Second Spy: I have here a map.
First Spy: [seizing the map] I know WHERE we are, stupid!
[throws down the map]
First Spy: We are in England! And vhen we are in England, what do we do?
Second Spy: We play cricket.
First Spy: We play cric… No! We dress like Englishmen!
First Spy, Second Spy: A-ha!
First Spy: [dressed in an outfit that the English wore in India] Remarkable veather we are having for zhe time of zhe year, do you not think so, Cuthbort?
Second Spy: [dressed in the same outfit] Indubita-ba-bly, Basil.

Baron Bomburst (Gert Frobe): [a voice over the portable radio transmitter] Jawohl?
First Spy: This is “X” speaking.
[faint squealing static]
Baron Bomburst (Gert Frobe): Shrecks?
First Spy: “X”!
Baron Bomburst (Gert Frobe): Lex?
First Spy: [becoming pompously frustrated that his own accomplice can’t remember/understand who he is] EX! As in…
[feverishly tries to think of a suitable word to use as an example of pronunciation]
Second Spy: [hastily offering a helpful suggestion] Eggs and bacon.
First Spy: [nodding in agreement] Eggs and BAY-KUHN! Send transport immediately!

[the two spies are thrown off the baron’s blimp and into the sea]
Second Spy: What do we do now?
First Spy: Start swimming!
Second Spy: I can’t swim!
First Spy: Then start drowning!
[the First Spy swims away]

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