Funny movie quotes from Batman: Mask of the Phantasm, with the voice talents of Mark Hamill, Kevin Conroy, Dana Delany, Efrem Zimbalist Jr.
Joker (Mark Hamill): So, what’s an old-timer like you want with a two-timer like me?
[the Phantasm goes to Valestra’s mansion, but instead finds Valestra dead, along with Joker’s surveillance camera and a bomb]
Joker (Mark Hamill): Whoops! Ha! I guess the joke’s on me. You’re not Batman after all. Looks like there’s a new face in Gotham and soon his name will be all over town … to say nothing of his legs, and feet, and spleen, and head …
[the Phantasm leaps out the window just as the bomb explodes]
Joker (Mark Hamill): Can’t be too careful with all those weirdos around.
Andrea Beaumont (Dana Delany): What’s that you’re practicing?
Bruce Wayne (Kevin Conroy): Jujitsu.
Andrea Beaumont (Dana Delany): Gesundheit … That was a joke.
Arthur Reeves (Hart Bochner): [on TV] What kind of city are we running when we depend on the support of a potential madman!
[click]
Alfred Pennyworth (Efrem Zimbalist Jr.): What rot, sir! Why you’re the very model of sanity. Oh by the way, I pressed your tights and put away your exploding gas balls.
Bruce Wayne (Kevin Conroy): Thank you, Alfred.
Joker (Mark Hamill): Mi casa nostra es su casa nostra.
Batman (Kevin Conroy): You think you know everything about me, don’t you?
Alfred Pennyworth (Efrem Zimbalist Jr.): I diapered your bottom; I bloody well ought to, sir!
Alfred Pennyworth (Efrem Zimbalist Jr.): There are certain advantages to having a sturdy cranium, Master Bruce. But then, hardheadedness was always your virtue.
Joker (Mark Hamill): Don’t touch me, old man! I don’t know where you’ve been.
The Joker (Mark Hamill): [when Batman picks up the phone in Andrea’s apartment] Hello, anybody home? Listen, boopsie, even though you never call and never write, I still got a soft spot for you. So I’m sending you a fun gift, airmail! And there’s no use jumping out the window this time, toots …
[Batman looks out the window and sees a toy Joker plane flying in carrying a bomb]
The Joker (Mark Hamill): The plane of the future is going to make you history!
[Batman throws a Batarang, exploding the bomb outside the window; the blast knocks him back against the wall, and the phone is left dangling]
The Joker (Mark Hamill): [laughing] Hello? Hello, operator? I believe my party’s been … disconnected! HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAA!
Joker (Mark Hamill): Gotta hand it to you, nice scheme. Costume’s a bit theatrical, but hey, who am I to talk?
