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Funny movie quotes from Batman: Mask of the Phantasm

Funny movie quotes from Batman: Mask of the Phantasm, with the voice talents of Mark Hamill, Kevin Conroy, Dana Delany, Efrem Zimbalist Jr.

Joker (Mark Hamill): So, what’€™s an old-timer like you want with a two-timer like me?

[the Phantasm goes to Valestra’€™s mansion, but instead finds Valestra dead, along with Joker’€™s surveillance camera and a bomb]

Joker (Mark Hamill): Whoops! Ha! I guess the joke’€™s on me. You’€™re not Batman after all. Looks like there’€™s a new face in Gotham and soon his name will be all over town … to say nothing of his legs, and feet, and spleen, and head …
[the Phantasm leaps out the window just as the bomb explodes]

Joker (Mark Hamill): Can’€™t be too careful with all those weirdos around.

Andrea Beaumont (Dana Delany): What’€™s that you’€™re practicing?

Bruce Wayne (Kevin Conroy): Jujitsu.
Andrea Beaumont (Dana Delany): Gesundheit … That was a joke.

Arthur Reeves (Hart Bochner): [on TV] What kind of city are we running when we depend on the support of a potential madman!

Alfred Pennyworth (Efrem Zimbalist Jr.): What rot, sir! Why you’€™re the very model of sanity. Oh by the way, I pressed your tights and put away your exploding gas balls.
Bruce Wayne (Kevin Conroy): Thank you, Alfred.

Joker (Mark Hamill): Mi casa nostra es su casa nostra.

Batman (Kevin Conroy): You think you know everything about me, don’€™t you?
Alfred Pennyworth (Efrem Zimbalist Jr.): I diapered your bottom; I bloody well ought to, sir!

Alfred Pennyworth (Efrem Zimbalist Jr.): There are certain advantages to having a sturdy cranium, Master Bruce. But then, hardheadedness was always your virtue.

Joker (Mark Hamill): Don’€™t touch me, old man! I don’€™t know where you’€™ve been.

The Joker (Mark Hamill): [when Batman picks up the phone in Andrea’€™s apartment] Hello, anybody home? Listen, boopsie, even though you never call and never write, I still got a soft spot for you. So I’€™m sending you a fun gift, airmail! And there’€™s no use jumping out the window this time, toots …

[Batman looks out the window and sees a toy Joker plane flying in carrying a bomb]
The Joker (Mark Hamill): The plane of the future is going to make you history!
[Batman throws a Batarang, exploding the bomb outside the window; the blast knocks him back against the wall, and the phone is left dangling]
The Joker (Mark Hamill): [laughing] Hello? Hello, operator? I believe my party’€™s been … disconnected! HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAA!

Joker (Mark Hamill): Gotta hand it to you, nice scheme. Costume’€™s a bit theatrical, but hey, who am I to talk?

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