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Father’s Day jokes by Red Skelton

A collection of Father’s Day jokes by the famous comedian and TV clown, Red Skelton

  • My daughter Valentina knitted me a tie. I won’t say it’s long, but I’ve been doing somersaults all day! (Somebody Down Here Hates Me)
  • Did you realize that half the parents in the world today are fathers? (Let’s Talk About Father)
  • I remember Father’s Day back in Vincennes, Indiana. It’s kind of hazy to me now. I was 17 at the time. And I was going with a girl at the time, she was much older than I was. I won’t say how old she was, but when Grant took Richmond, she was taking Serutan. (Let’s Talk About Father)
  • For a special treat this Father’s Day, my wife let me go don to the beach to see the new bathing suits. I’m going again next Father’s Day, too! (Let’s Talk About Father)
  • Have you seen the new bathing suits? I’m telling you, there was one girl down there, it’s a wonder she didn’t get arrested! It’s a wonder I didn’t get arrested! (Let’s Talk About Father)
  • This morning Richard and Valentina came into my room, and they had little presents, see, and I pretend I was asleep. And they came in and said, “Yeah, should we wake him up?” Richard says, “I don’t know, there’s the old boy laying there, look at him. He don’t look very brilliant, does he?” She said, “We could have done worse, we could have done worse.” He says, “Well, should we wake him up?” She says, “Yeah, but be sure and laugh or he’ll cut off our allowances.”(Let’s Talk About Father)

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