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Come and listen to a story ’bout a man named Jed

Come and listen to a story ’bout a man named Jed,

Song parody on the theme song to ‘The Beverly Hillbillies’ — what if Jed Clampett were a computer programmer?

Come and listen to a story ’bout a man named Jed,
A poor college kid, barely kept his family fed,
But then one day he was talking to a recruiter,
Who said, “they pay big bucks if ya work on a computer…”

Windows, that is … PC’s … Workstations …

Well, the first thing ya know ol’ Jed’s an Engineer.
The kinfolk said “Jed, move away from here”.
They said “California is the place ya oughta be”,
So he bought some donuts and he moved to Silicon Valley …

Intel, that is … Pentium … big amusement park …

On his first day at work, they stuck him in a cube.
Fed him more donuts and sat him at a tube.
They said “your project’s late, but we know just what to do.
Instead of 40 hours, we’ll work you 52!”

OT, that is … unpaid … mandatory …

The weeks rolled by and things were looking bad.
Schedules started slipping and some managers were mad.
They called another meeting and decided on a fix.
The answer was simple … “We’ll work him sixty-six!”

Tired, that is … stressed out … no social life …

Months turned to years and his hair was turning gray.
Jed worked very hard while his life slipped away.
Waiting to retire when he turned 64,
Instead he got a call and escorted out the door.

Laid off, that is … de-briefed … unemployed …

Now the moral of the story is listen to what you’re told,
Companies will use you and discard you when you’re old.
So gather up your friends and start your own firm,
Beat the competition, watch the bosses squirm.

Millionaires, that is … Bill Gates … Steve Jobs …

Y’all come back now … ya hear?

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