Funny movie quotes from Dear Brigitte, starring Jimmy Stewart, Glynis Johns, Billy Mumy, Ed Wynn
Professor Robert Leaf (James Stewart): I don’t care how smart they are or how many degrees they’ve got or how that nuclear gadget of theirs works on the drawing board. An accident is still an accident and sooner or later they’re gonna blow us all to hell-and-gone-outta-here. It’s only a question of time before one of those fellas shows up some morning with a hangover and pulls the wrong switch or puts too much uranium in the plutonium and WHAM! And don’t think I didn’t tell ‘em so either.
The Captain (Ed Wynn): I spilled my pipe on him ‘¦ I’ve got to get a fireproof dog.
Professor Robert Leaf (James Stewart): Uh, Ras, I’d like to talk to ya.
Vina Leaf (Glynis Johns): Oh. Man to man stuff.
Erasmus ‘Ras’ Leaf (Billy Mumy): Already? I’m only eight.
Professor Robert Leaf (James Stewart): I couldn’t love Panny any more if she were my own daughter.
Vina Leaf (Glynis Johns): And whose, pray, do you think she is?
The Captain (Ed Wynn): [commenting on the Professor’s absent-mindedness] He’s the only man I know who sends candy to his father on Mother’s Day!
The Captain (Ed Wynn): You keep outta this, George.
Professor Robert Leaf (James Stewart): Yeah, George. Put some clothes on your wife and go to bed.
Bank Manager: My dear lady, I don’t know how bankers in England operate, but here in America we have a’¦
Vina Leaf (Glynis Johns): In England, my dear sir, the bankers are acutely aware of the fact that the young people of today are the banking customers of tomorrow and they make every effort to instill confidence both in their management and in their arithmetic.
Professor Robert Leaf (James Stewart): How much is one thousand seven hundred and twenty six times eight thousand seven hundred and twenty six?
Erasmus ‘Ras’ Leaf (Billy Mumy): Fifteen million sixty one thousand and seventy six.
Professor Robert Leaf (James Stewart): They’ll say there goes that Erasmus Leaf, he’s a mathematician.
Erasmus ‘Ras’ Leaf (Billy Mumy): Gosh.
Professor Robert Leaf (James Stewart): Now Panny, there is absolutely no deal in which I would sanction your brother’s countenance to sop up the body fluids of countless sweaty little boys.
The Captain (Ed Wynn): Raising kids is such a darn hard business, it’s a shame that they let just anyone do it. They ought to need a license, like plumbers or teachers.
Dean Sawyer: Robert, you know, one of these days I’m going to accept one of your resignations.
Vina Leaf (Glynis Johns): When I married that skinny Rhodes scholar, I never expected champagne suppers every night. I have ways of preparing spaghetti that I haven’t even tried yet.
The Captain (Ed Wynn): Artist, George is. He paints nudes. In plain talk, nekkid women.
Orville: Say, that’s a very useful kid. Ya ever try him on anything practical?
Professor Robert Leaf (James Stewart): They’re going to stick ‘im into that experimental school of theirs, the one where they train the little junior exploders to be tomorrows big exploders.
Professor Robert Leaf (James Stewart): Brigitte Bardot. You may be color-blind, but you’re a green-blooded American boy.
The Captain (Ed Wynn): You put a father and son together, and they’re likely to celebrate the fact that they’re both men. And it’s something to be celebrated, with so many women wearing pants nowadays.