Farmer Kellog’s Ram – A truly atrocious pun … especially if you remember a certain jingle for a certain breakfast cereal …
I live near a small town and farming community, and the following event happened to a friend of mine, a farmer named Ken Kellog.
Ken raises sheep, and he has this surly, unpredictable ram which boldly tries to escape the pasture at any opportunity. He also has quite a temper (the ram, not Ken).
A bunch of ravens had their nests nearby — about twenty ravens in all. Ten ravens make up a swoop, just like more than four sheep are a flock, etc. Anyways, these ravens loved to harass the ram. They’d fly down into the field and caw at him until he charged at them. Then they’d all fly upward, and the ram would crash into the fence. Once, though, one of the ravens didn’t get out of the way in time, and he was crushed against the fencepost. The others decided to get revenge.
When Farmer Kellog came out to check on his sheep one day, he forgot to lock the gate properly. The ravens, working together, pushed it open, and lured the ram out into the hayfield. They flew towards the bailing machine, the ram bleating furiously all the way. At the last moment, the ravens pulled up — and the ram ran straight into the bailer. He came out the other side in a mangled package.
Twenty big black birds came to perch upon him, satisfied, leaving the farmer with……
two swoops of ravens on a package of Kellog’s brazen ram.