99.9% success rate
99.9% success rate – that’s good, right? You often hear people say that they have a “99.9% success rate”. Well, if that is acceptable, then:
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Funny movie quotes from Merton of the Movies
Funny movie quotes from Merton of the Movies starring Red Skelton, Virginia O’Brien Merton Gill aka Clifford Armytage (Red Skelton): (reading a letter from the Pudolph School of Acting) “It is apparent that you definitely have a face.” Phyllis Montague (Virginia O’Brien): Are you new here?Merton Gill aka...
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Funny movie quotes from Hoofs and Goofs
Funny movie quotes from Hoofs and Goofs (1957) starring the Three Stooges – Moe Howard, Larry Fine, Joe Besser Larry (Larry Fine): I think Joe’s gone around the bend. Yesterday, he thought he was a chicken. Moe (Moe Howard): We ought to send him to an institution.Larry (Larry...
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Red Skelton’s eye exam
Red Skelton‘s eye exam – From Red’s opening monologue on “The Red Skelton Show” (January 25, 1971) – Red talks about a visit to his eye doctor. This doctor starts examining my eyes, now you’ve got to hear some of the conversation that went on. I said, “The...
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Gertrude and Heathcliff jokes
Gertrude and Heathcliff jokes by Red Skelton, about his seagull friends – flapping their wings, the ship of fools, and an elephant with a cold in the nose As Red Skelton used to say, there were these two seagulls named Gertrude and Heathcliff:
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Starfish
There once was an old man who liked to start his days by going for walks on a nearby beach. Early one morning, he was walking along the shore after a big storm had passed, and he found that the beach was littered with starfish as far as...
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