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Funny movie quotes from Rio Rita

Funny movie quotes from Abbott and Costello’s first movie for MGM, “Rio Rita”

‘€™Wishy’€™ (Lou Costello): Answer the phone.
‘€˜Doc’€™ (Bud Abbott): It didn’€™t ring.
‘€˜Wishy’€™ (Lou Costello): Why wait until the last minute?
[phone rings]


‘€˜Doc’€™ (Bud Abbott): Hey, Wishy, go take a Peke at Mrs. Pikes.
‘€˜Wishy’€™ (Lou Costello): Take a peek at Mrs. Pike? Why can’€™t a take a good look?
‘€˜Doc’€™ (Bud Abbott): Go get Pikes’€™ peke.
‘€˜Wishy’€™ (Lou Costello): Pike’€™s Peak? What am I, a mountain climber?
‘€˜Doc’€™ (Bud Abbott): Go to Mrs. Pikes’€™ house; you’€™ll see here Peke around the yard.
‘€˜Wishy’€™ (Lou Costello): Peek around the yard? What do you want me to do, play hide and seek with the girl? The boss told me to wash the white dog, the … what do you call it?
‘€˜Doc’€™ (Bud Abbott): Spitz?
‘€˜Wishy’€™ (Lou Costello): No, but he drools a little.


Pet Store Owner: How’€™s Mrs. Brown’€™s chou?
‘€˜Wishy’€™ (Lou Costello): I don’€™t know, I never ate there.


‘€˜Wishy’€™ (Lou Costello): The last time I saw that dog, we was walking down the street and going to court.
‘€˜Doc’€™ (Bud Abbott): How do you know he was going to court?
‘€˜Wishy’€™ (Lou Costello): He had a policeman in his mouth.
Pet store owner: Didn’€™t I tell you not to take the dogs out without a muzzle on?
‘€˜Wishy’€™ (Lou Costello): Ihada muzzle on, but I couldn’€™t breathe through it!


‘€˜Wishy’€™ (Lou Costello): I’€™ll get her a bird dog!
Pet store owner: She hasn’€™t any bird.
‘€˜Wishy’€™ (Lou Costello): I’€™ll tell you what I’€™ll do, boss, I’€™ll get her a sled dog!
Pet store owner: She hasn’€™t any sled!
‘€˜Wishy’€™ (Lou Costello): Then I’€™ll get her a bloodhound! Let her try to get out of that one!


Ricardo Montera (John Carroll): [Referring to Rita] who is she?
Golfer: You got me brother!
Ricardo Montera: I don’€™t want you brother!


Attendant: Hey, you two tramps!
‘€˜Wishy’€™ (Lou Costello): Tramps? Somebody must know us down here.
Attendant: What are you doing here?
‘€˜Wishy’€™ (Lou Costello): Nothin’€™.
Attendant: Where do you come from?
‘€˜Wishy’€™ (Lou Costello): Noplace.
Attendant: Who are you?
‘€˜Wishy’€™ (Lou Costello): Nobody.
Attendant: Where do you live?
‘€˜Wishy’€™ (Lou Costello): With him. [points to Doc]
Attendant: Where does he live?
‘€˜Wishy’€™ (Lou Costello): With me.
Attendant: Where do you both live?
‘€˜Wishy’€™ (Lou Costello): With each other.


‘€˜Wishy’€™ (Lou Costello): Suppose somebody comes in?
‘€˜Doc’€™ (Bud Abbott): You don’€™t want them to catchme, do you?
‘€˜Wishy’€™ (Lou Costello): I’€™m sorry; I never think of those things.


‘€˜Wishy’€™ (Lou Costello): Hey, Doc, how long does it take to a person to die of starvation?
‘€˜Doc’€™ (Bud Abbott): What good would it do if you knew?
‘€˜Wishy’€™ (Lou Costello): I’€™m planning my future.


‘€˜Doc’€™ (Bud Abbott): I’€™ve got the face of a ten year old boy.
‘€˜Wishy’€™ (Lou Costello): If I were you, I’€™d give it back.


‘€˜Doc’€™ (Bud Abbott): How many years did you go to school?
‘€˜Wishy’€™ (Lou Costello): Including kindergarten?
‘€˜Doc’€™ (Bud Abbott): Yes.
‘€˜Wishy’€™ (Lou Costello): [counts] One.


[talking about a fancy chair]
‘€˜Wishy’€™ (Lou Costello): What’€™s it made out of?
‘€˜Doc’€™ (Bud Abbott): Hide. [Lou tries to hide] Hey, come here, where are you going?
‘€˜Wishy’€™ (Lou Costello): Someone’€™s coming?
‘€˜Doc’€™ (Bud Abbott): No, hide on the chair.
[Lou tries to hide on top of a chair]
‘€˜Doc’€™ (Bud Abbott): What’€™re you doing?
‘€˜Wishy’€™ (Lou Costello)lc: I’€™m hiding.
‘€˜Doc’€™ (Bud Abbott): No, no, hide’€”hide.  A cow’€™s outside.
‘€˜Wishy’€™ (Lou Costello): Bring her in, we’€™ll have a drink.


‘€˜Doc’€™ (Bud Abbott): Did you ever go to school, stupid?
‘€˜Wishy’€™ (Lou Costello): Yeah and I came out the same way.


‘€˜Wishy’€™ (Lou Costello): I want to be like the Rangers. I want to die with my boots on.
‘€˜Doc’€™ (Bud Abbott): Why?
‘€˜Wishy’€™ (Lou Costello): I got holes in my socks.


‘€˜Wishy’€™ (Lou Costello): If I’€™m the one that gets killed, get twenty-five beautiful girls to walk around me.
‘€˜Doc’€™ (Bud Abbott): Why?
‘€˜Wishy’€™ (Lou Costello): If I don’€™t get up, then you know I’€™m dead.


Lucette: Is this your bedroom?
‘€˜Wishy’€™ (Lou Costello): Yes. You can’€™t go in there! I’€™ll call the house detective!
Lucette: Darling ,you’€™re the house detective.
‘€˜Wishy’€™ (Lou Costello): What a predicament I’€™m in! I’€™ll have to ask myself to leave!


 

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