Home » Funny movie quotes » Funny movie quotes from Another Fine Mess

Funny movie quotes from Another Fine Mess

Funny movie quotes from Another Fine Mess – one of Laurel and Hardy‘s funniest short films

Officer: Say, Kelly, did a couple of guys come through here?
Other Officer: Yeah, a couple just ran in there, why?
Officer: Well, they was in the park and they had put a couple of benches together so they could have twin beds and when I asked them to move on, the little fella tips his hat and says ‘€œyes ma’€™am.’€ That’€™s what I’€™m sore about!

Colonel Wilburforce Buckshot (James Finlayson): Just a second! I forgot my bow and arrow!

Ollie (Oliver Hardy): [to Stan] Come on! Let’€™s reconnoiter.

Ollie (Oliver Hardy): Well, here’€™s a another nice mess you’€™ve gotten me into.

Stan (Stan Laurel): [posing as the butler] You wish to see Colonel Buckshot?
Lord Leopold Plumtree: Why, I’€™d LOVE to! Hauw-haw-haw-huh-huh-huh-huh!
Stan (Stan Laurel): [turning away and calling toward the stairway] Colonel Buckshot!
[a few seconds pass with no answer]
Stan (Stan Laurel): Oh, Ollie – – uh – – Colonel Buckshot!
[No answer]
Stan (Stan Laurel): [speaking to Lord Plumtree and his wife] Wait there.
[He walks several yards to the foot of the stairs, then cups his hand to his mouth and hollers up the stairs]
Stan (Stan Laurel): Colonel BUCKshot’€¦
[using his classic shrill whistle]
Ollie (Oliver Hardy): [posing as Colonel Buckshot] What is it, Hives?
Stan (Stan Laurel): [wincing at the derogatory name Hardy has chosen for him] Lord Appletree – – he wants to rent a room.
Lord Leopold Plumtree: No, no, my dear fellow – – ‘€˜PLUMtree’€™. ‘€˜PLUMtree’€™. Lord Leopold ‘€˜Plumtree’€™ – – my card. And I wish to rent the entire HOUSE.
[inspects the new card that Lord Plumtree has given him, then absently tosses the first card away]

Lord Leopold Plumtree: [shaking his hand in surprise and pain after the brace holding up the lid of the piano vibrates loose and the lid falls shut and pinches Lord Plumtree’€™s finger] Oh, I say! I SAY!
Ollie (Oliver Hardy): Oh, I beg your pardon, Lord Figtree!
Lord Leopold Plumtree: ‘€˜PLUMtree!’€™ ‘€˜PLUMtree’€™! Lord Leopold ‘€˜Plumtree’€™!
[He hands Hardy another card]
Ollie (Oliver Hardy): Ah, a thousand pardons – – my mistake!

Stan (Stan Laurel): [as Agnes the Maid] Bedrooms, let’€™s see, there’€™s mine and the master’€™s and the master’€™s and mine. That’€™s four.
Lady Plumtree: No no, there’€™s the master’€™s then yours. That’€™s two.
Stan (Stan Laurel): Oh, yeah. Then there’€™s the nursery.
Lady Plumtree: A nursery? I didn’€™t know the colonel was married.
Stan (Stan Laurel): Oh, he has that in case of accidents.

Lord Leopold Plumtree: By the way, Colonel, do you have any horses?
Ollie (Oliver Hardy): [posing as Colonel Buckshot] I’€™m sorry’€¦ I shipped all of my horses to my plantation in Kentucky.
Lord Leopold Plumtree: Kentucky? What part of Kentucky do you come from, Colonel?
Ollie (Oliver Hardy): [fondly and grandly] Omaha’€¦ dear old Omaha!
Stan (Stan Laurel): I thought Omaha was in Wisconsin.

Lady Plumtree: Agnes, how long have you been here?
Stan (Stan Laurel): [in drag as the maid] About half an hour.
[realizing what she has said]
Stan (Stan Laurel): Oh, heh!
Stan (Stan Laurel): How silly of me! I’€™m so nervous. Heh, I mean half a year – to be exact, three months!

Lord Leopold Plumtree: [to Stan who is dressed as the maid] Pardon me, are you of any relation to the butler?
Ollie (Oliver Hardy): Oh, yes, yes, they’€™re twins. You see, one was born in Detroit, the other in Mee-a-mee.
Lord Leopold Plumtree: I don’€™t quite understand.
Ollie (Oliver Hardy): Oh, that’€™s all right. Neither do they.

Ollie (Oliver Hardy): Oh, Agnes – – meet your new master, Lord Flagpole Crabtree.
Lord Leopold Plumtree: PLUMtree’€¦ PLUMtree! Lord Leopold PLUMtree! My cahd.
Ollie (Oliver Hardy): That’€™s RIGHT!

Ollie (Oliver Hardy): Ahhh’€¦ at last I have found it, Lord Appletree!
Lady Plumtree: PLUMtree’€¦ PLUMtree! Lord Leopold PLUMtree! Accent on the ‘€œLUM’€. My cahd.
[He reaches in his pocket for another card, but accidentally takes out three cards at once, which he hands to Hardy]
Ollie (Oliver Hardy): [leafing through the cards and reading them off one-by-one] ‘€œPlumtree”‘€¦ ‘€œPlumtree”‘€¦ ‘€œPlumtree”‘€¦ I am terribly sorry.

Ollie (Oliver Hardy): Agnes, call me a cab.
Stan (Stan Laurel): Huh?
Ollie (Oliver Hardy): Call me a cab.
Stan (Stan Laurel): You’€™re a cab.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


%d bloggers like this: