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How to know if you attend a Redneck Church

  • The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.
  • People ask, when they learn that Jesus Christ fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch ‘em.
  • When the pastor says, “I’d like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering,” five men and two women stand up.
  • Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.
  • A member of the Church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because “It ain’t never been in a hole it couldn’t get out of.”
  • The choir is knon as the “OK Chorale.”

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