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Funny quotes about doctors

Funny quotes about doctors – Quotes by various people (including Walter Matthau, Groucho Marx, and Steve Martin) on doctors and medicine.

  • My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn’t pay the bill he gave me six months more. Walter Matthau.
  • She got her looks from her father: He’s a plastic surgeon. Groucho Marx.
  • Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined. Samuel Goldwyn.
  • I was under the care of a couple of medical students who couldn’t diagnose a decapitation. Jeffrey Bernard
  • First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. Steve Martin.
  • No-one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish. Kin Hubbard.
  • There must be something to acupuncture. After all, you never see any sick porcupines! Bob Goddard.
  • The operation was a complete success, but the patient died of something else. John Chiene
  • I’m not feeling very well, I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. Groucho Marx
  • The art of medicine is in amusing a patient while nature affects the cure. Voltaire

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