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Funny movie quotes from We Want Our Mummy

Funny movie quotes from We Want Our Mummy — a classic Three Stooges short film, starring Moe Howard, Larry Fine, Curly Howard, Bud Jamison

Curly (Curly Howard): Well, I reckon since there’s no other place around the place, this must be the place, I reckon.

Larry (Larry Fine): That’s a mirij.
Moe (Moe Howard): A mirij is what you see yourself in; that’s a mirage.
Curly (Curly Howard): A mirage is what you keep your car in.

Stand up photo of Curly, Moe, and Larry from "We Want our Mummy"
Stand up photo of Curly, Moe, and Larry from “We Want our Mummy”

Curly (Curly Howard): After all of that running, we’re still in the same place.
Moe (Moe Howard): Okay, wise guy, you lead.
Curly (Curly Howard): But I …
Moe (Moe Howard): Get going.
Curly (Curly Howard): I’ll go when I’m ready.
Moe (Moe Howard): [threateningly] Are you ready?
Curly (Curly Howard): I’m ready. Follow me.

Larry (Larry Fine): [to Curly] When they find out you killed the mummy, they’ll kill us!

Curly (Curly Howard): C’mon, Rootin-Tootin old kid! Heh heh! Whoever crowned you king?

Moe (Moe Howard): I got an idea, we’ll make a mummy out of you.
Curly (Curly Howard): I can’t be a mummy, I’m a daddy!
Larry (Larry Fine): All right so you’ll be a daddy-mummy.
Curly (Curly Howard): Oh! That’s different.

Moe (Moe Howard): Weigh the anchor!
Curly (Curly Howard): Forty-two pounds!

Professor Tuttle: That wasn’t King Ruten-Tuten! That was his wife, Queen Hatsi-Tatsi! This is Ruten-Tuten! He was a midget!

Dr. Crowell (Bud Jamison): That means we’ll never find the missing king!
Curly (Curly Howard): [looks surprised, takes card out of his front pocket] How did YOU know the king was missing?
[Moe turns his head to look]
Curly (Curly Howard): I … Ooh!
[hides card before Moe can see]
Moe (Moe Howard): Oh, so you’re the one, eh? That’s how you won my thirteen cents!
[smacks Curly]

Moe (Moe Howard): [looking through telescope toward Egyptian desert, but with Larry’s head in the way] We’re coming to a jungle. I can see the underbrush! And camels walkin’ through it! No no, they’re octopus!
Larry (Larry Fine): I don’t see anything!
Moe (Moe Howard): [notices that he was looking at Larry’s hair] You will!
[hits Larry with the telescope]

Thug: [in tomb, with Curly laying on a table dressed up as King Rutin-Tutin] Hey, where are those jewels that are supposed to be buried with them?
Thug in Museum Basement: Oh, they always wrap ’em up inside the mummy. We’ll have to cut him open.
[with thugs looking away, Curly cringes, and unzips the front of his mummy costume]
Thug in Museum Basement: Let me have that sharp knife you have there.
[looks at ‘Rutin-Tutin’]
Thug in Museum Basement: He’s burst open!
[reaches inside Curly’s costume, pulls out newspaper]
Thug in Museum Basement: “Yanks win world series.” Can you beat that?
Curly (Curly Howard): Yeah, and I won five bucks!
Thug in Museum Basement: No kidding? I had the Cubs, and … WHAT?

Dr. Crowell (Bud Jamison): Gentlemen, you’re hired. We’re sending you to bring back the mummy of King Rutin-Tutin, you leave immediately for Cairo.
Curly (Curly Howard): Say I got an uncle in Cairo, he’s a chiropractor. Nyuk nyuk nyuk!
[Moe punches him in the nose]

Museum Curator: And if you are successful, we will pay you 5,000 dollars.
Dr. Crowell  (Bud Jamison): The recovery of the mummy will prove of untold value to science.
Moe (Moe Howard): For science!
Larry (Larry Fine): For science!
Curly (Curly Howard): For 5,000 bucks!

Moe (Moe Howard): [the Stooges find a sign post in the desert showing the locations of Cairo and Tunis] Oh, boy we’re nearly in Cairo. The tomb oughtta be around here someplace.
Curly (Curly Howard): I’ve gotta go to Tunis and then we can have tuna sandwiches for lunch.
[Moe slaps him]
Curly (Curly Howard): Oh!

Moe (Moe Howard): [what looks like the tomb of Rootin Tootin] Hey, he’s the real McCoy!
Larry (Larry Fine): McCoy, I thought his name was Rootin Tootin. [Moe raises his fist at Larry]

Curly (Curly Howard): Hey fellas, I found it.
Larry (Larry Fine): Found what?
Curly (Curly Howard): A tisket a tasket, [holds up a basket] that green and yellow basket. Nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk!
[Moe gives him an open hand shove in the face]
Curly (Curly Howard): Oh!
[Staggers back into a well]
Curly (Curly Howard): Woooah!
[Hits the bottom with a splash and gets Moe and Larry wet]


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