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Funny movie quotes from Way… Way Out

Funny movie quotes from Way… Way Out – a spoof of the space race starring Jerry Lewis Connie Stevens, Anita Eckberg, Dick Shawn

[First lines]
Narrator: This is Colonel John “Shorty” Powers in Lunar Launch Control. This story takes place near the turn of the century -not the last century, the *next* century. Nothing very much has happened since the 1960’s: There as still a United Nations, and peace in the world… or at least what we have come to accept as “peace”.

[Mattemore staggers into Quonset’s office in spasms, propped up by Ponsonby]
Harold Quonset: What’s going on?
Ponsonby: I don’t know. I- I just got him out of them centrifuge and… and…
[places Mattemore in chair]
Ponsonby: there it was.
Harold Quonset: [to Mattemore] Does that thing always affect you like that?
Pete Mattemore (Jerry Lewis): No… NO, uh, only when it turns… only when it turns.

Ponsonby: I’m afraid the fertilizer has hit the ventilator sir!

[loading the sex-crazed Schmidlap onto the return vessel]
Pete Mattemore (Jerry Lewis): When do you untie him?
Hoffman (Dennis Weaver): When I rendezvous with Deuce in the main ship, and get some help.
Schmidlap (Howard Morris): NOTHIN’S gonna help ya Hoffman! You no good dir…
[Hoffman yanks the cord on Schmidlap’s suit radio. Schmidlap continues shouting in silence, until quieted by a few blows by Hoffman to the side of his helmet]
Pete Mattemore (Jerry Lewis): What happens when Schmidlap gets back, and there’s girls all over the place?
Hoffman (Dennis Weaver): Oh I don’t know… I honestly don’t know… If I could just get him to go back to Divinity school…

Pete Mattemore (Jerry Lewis): [to his “wife” Connie Stevens]You know what the problem with you is, honey? You say “no” before anyone asks the question!

Anna (Anita Ekberg):  It’s Igor! I knew he couldn’t sleep without me.
Pete Mattemore (Jerry Lewis): I can’t say I blame him.

Igor (Dick Shawn): Don’t drink vodka with funnel! What is wrong with you?

Anna (Anita Ekberg): He married her, why can’t you marry me?
Igor (Dick Shawn): You are so young, and so beautiful … I am so young, and so beautiful …

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