Funny movie quotes from The Family Jewels – the classic Jerry Lewis comedy where Jerry plays seven different roles, as the various uncles of a young, orphaned, heiress …
Funny movie quotes from The Family Jewels (1965) starring Jerry Lewis
Attorney (Jay Adler): A 10-year old girl, has to pick a new father, from a group of five nutty uncles.
Attorney (Neil Hamilton): They are not nutty. Subject, maybe. Why don’t you relax? After all, it was his last wish. Let’s respect it and get on with it. Now, I have prepared some brochures on each one of the nutty uncles …
[at a gas station]
Customer: Young man, I think it’s about time that I change my oil.
Willard (Jerry Lewis): I think you should have a complete physical.
Passenger: What time does this flight leave?
Captain Eddie (Jerry Lewis): Time? What time? The flight? What time? Yes … ha ha … just about when you ladies get your luggage, we’ll all get loaded! Uh, that is, gassed up! I mean, we’ll climb aboard and fly off into the wild blue!
Diana the stewardess: Who in the world … I mean, who’s going to take the trip with you?
Donna: Some elderly lady motorcycle riders.
[Captain Eddie going over his checklist prior to takeoff]
Captain Eddie (Jerry Lewis): … wallet, driver’s license, rabbit’s foot, keys …
Captain Eddie (Jerry Lewis): Well, we’ve come to the time in our trip where we’re happy to present our “Up in the Clouds” movie, friends — a current, first-run, major studio re-reissue of an original release.
Shylock (Jerry Lewis): [to cabbie] I say, driver, did you by chance, did you see a car leave about 20 minutes ago with a little girl and two men in it?
Cabbie: Yeah.
Shylock (Jerry Lewis): Do you think you could catch it?
Cabbie: I can give it a try.
Shylock (Jerry Lewis): [hands him money] Here’s a twenty for you … could you see if you could catch it?
[Cabbie takes the money and runs off on foot, in pursuit of the car]
Dr. Mattson (Sebastian Cabot): My dear Peyton, you’ve never played pool in your life!
Shylock (Jerry Lewis): That may be true, Mattson, but I never played golf either, do you recall how I knocked down more caddies that day than anyone in my group all put together?
[Sign in political parade: He cleaned out City Hall, and he can do the same to you!]