Funny movie quotes from Saps at Sea – a very funny movie, where Laurel and Hardy have to get away on a boat for Oliver’s health. But an escaped criminal …
Stanley Laurel (Stan Laurel): We must have been dis-unconnected.
Desk Clerk (Charlie Hall): [calling Oliver’s room] Mr. Laurel? There’s a Professor O’Brien here to see you.
Stanley Laurel (Stan Laurel): Oh, that’s swell! You know, he’s been expecting me.
Oliver Hardy (Oliver Hardy): Where’s the basement?
Desk Clerk (Charlie Hall): Downstairs.
Dr. Finlayson (James Finlayson): … and a strict diet of goat’s milk.
Stanley Laurel (Stan Laurel): Do ghosts have milk?
Dr. Finlayson (James Finlayson): Not ghost, goat! G-O-oat! Goat!
Oliver Hardy (Oliver Hardy): Wouldn’t that be fooling the doctor?
Stanley Laurel (Stan Laurel): Well, you can fool the doctor some of the time, but you can’t fool the doctor part of the time because you’ll be fooling yourself all of the time.
Stanley Laurel (Stan Laurel): Hey! Which way is the alley?
Desk Clerk (Charlie Hall): Out in the street.
Mrs. O’Riley (Mary Gordon): [rings Oliver’s apartment doorbell]
Oliver Hardy (Oliver Hardy): [inside the bell rings, blows off the wall and hits Ollie in the head] Ooh!
[to Stan]
Oliver Hardy (Oliver Hardy): See who that is!
Mrs. O’Riley (Mary Gordon): Having trouble, Mr. Hardy?
Oliver Hardy (Oliver Hardy): Trouble? Well, the room’s all topsy turvy.
Mrs. O’Riley (Mary Gordon): Well, just have a look at mine.
Oliver Hardy (Oliver Hardy): [follows her into the apartment] All right.
Mrs. O’Riley (Mary Gordon): I don’t know what happened, I just went to my fridge this morning, and look what happened!
[opens it, and music starts playing. She shuts it after a moment]
Mrs. O’Riley (Mary Gordon): And that’s not all, just have a look at the radio.
[points to it, where it is covered with frost]
Oliver Hardy (Oliver Hardy): Oh! Well, I’ll give that guy a piece of your mind too.
Off on the boat …
Oliver Hardy (Oliver Hardy): [shows horn] What’s the idea of bringing this along?
Stanley Laurel (Stan Laurel): Oh, my professor said, if I don’t practice I might lose my lip.
Oliver Hardy (Oliver Hardy): Uh-huh, and if you do practice, you’ll lose your neck.
Stanley Laurel (Stan Laurel): The goat just went out.
Oliver Hardy (Oliver Hardy): Well, I don’t blame him!
Oliver Hardy (Oliver Hardy): I’m going to call an officer and have you arrested!
Stanley Laurel (Stan Laurel): I wouldn’t do that. Let’s get a cop, and he’ll get a policeman, and we’ll fix him up!
Oliver Hardy (Oliver Hardy): You go ashore and attend to that, Stanley.
Stanley Laurel (Stan Laurel): Somebody moved the dock.
Stanley Laurel (Stan Laurel): Self-preservation is the last law of the … average.
Oliver Hardy (Oliver Hardy): Dizzy, you amaze me.
Stanley Laurel (Stan Laurel): Thank you, Dopey.
Oliver Hardy (Oliver Hardy): Dinner! Oh, Mr. Nick? Dinner is served.
Nick Grainger, Escaped Convict (Richard Cramer): [enters and sits down] Well … looks good
[smells the fake dinner]
Nick Grainger, Escaped Convict (Richard Cramer): smells good, and I bet it probably tastes good.
Oliver Hardy (Oliver Hardy): Oh, you’re going to like this. It’s just like mother used to make.
Stanley Laurel (Stan Laurel): Oh, it’s better than that.
Nick Grainger, Escaped Convict (Richard Cramer): [grins] Well, if it’s that good, [puts dinner on two plates and gives one to Stan, one to Ollie] you eat it.
Nick Grainger, Escaped Convict (Richard Cramer): Just like mother used to make, eh, Dopey?
Stanley Laurel (Stan Laurel): [nods weakly]
Nick Grainger, Escaped Convict (Richard Cramer): Only better, right, Dizzy?
Oliver Hardy (Oliver Hardy): [nods weakly]
Nick Grainger, Escaped Convict (Richard Cramer): [smirks] Have a meatball, Dizzy.
Oliver Hardy (Oliver Hardy): [very weakly] Thank you.
Nick Grainger, Escaped Convict (Richard Cramer): [smirking] You’re welcome.