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Funny movie quotes from One Good Turn

Funny movie quotes from One Good Turn starring Laurel and Hardy

Funny movie quotes from One Good Turn’, starring Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, and James Finlayson. A personal favorite Laurel and Hardy short film, where Stan picks on Ollie for a change!

[after their tent has gone up in flames]
Oliver (Oliver Hardy): Well, our earthly possessions are slowly getting less and less.

Oliver (Oliver Hardy): We haven’t tasted food for three whole days.
Old lady (Mary Carr): Three whole days!
Stanley (Stan Laurel): Yes ma’am. Yesterday, today and tomorrow.

Oliver (Oliver Hardy): One good turn deserves another.
Stanley (Stan Laurel): So do I neither.
Oliver (Oliver Hardy): What do you mean, “so do I neither”?

Stanley (Stan Laurel): I don’t know anything about cutting wood.
Oliver (Oliver Hardy): Well, you ought to. You once told me your father was in the lumber business.
Stanley (Stan Laurel): I know he was, but it was only in a small way.
Oliver (Oliver Hardy): What do you mean small way?
Stanley (Stan Laurel): He used to sell toothpicks.
Oliver (Oliver Hardy): Well, go ahead and make some toothpicks. Be a chip off of the old block.

Oliver (Oliver Hardy): Now I see it all.
Stanley (Stan Laurel): What?
Oliver (Oliver Hardy): “What”. Don’t try to alibi. You know you stole this money from that old lady. Why guilt is written all over you.
Stanley (Stan Laurel): What do you mean?
Oliver (Oliver Hardy): I mean that you’re going to give this money back and make a full confession!
Stanley (Stan Laurel): A confession of what?
Oliver (Oliver Hardy): And to think after all these years I’€™ve been fostering a common thief. A viper in my bosom!
Stanley (Stan Laurel): Whose bosom? What are you talking about?
Oliver (Oliver Hardy): Don’t try to bluff me! To think you would bite the hand that was feeding you. You snake in the grass. You traitor! You sheep in wool clothing. You double-crosser. You judist! You’€¦ You…!
Stanley (Stan Laurel): Stop! Don’t call me a “You-you”.

Old lady: [Ollie shoves Stan through the door] What on earth is the matter?
Oliver (Oliver Hardy): Madam, my one-time friend Mr. Laurel has a confession to make.
Old lady: Confession?
Oliver (Oliver Hardy): Yes. He’s the one who stole your money and left you at the mercy of that villain!
Old lady: There must be some mistake.
Oliver (Oliver Hardy): There’s no mistake. It’s all too true. Why I caught him red handed.
Old lady: There hasn’t been any money stolen. We were just rehearsing a play for the community players.
Oliver (Oliver Hardy): [after long pause; nervously twiddles his tie] I must have made a faux pas.
[laughs; Stan proceeds to beat Ollie up]

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