Funny movie quotes from One Good Turn starring Laurel and Hardy
Funny movie quotes from One Good Turn’, starring Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, and James Finlayson. A personal favorite Laurel and Hardy short film, where Stan picks on Ollie for a change!
[after their tent has gone up in flames]
Oliver (Oliver Hardy): Well, our earthly possessions are slowly getting less and less.
Oliver (Oliver Hardy): We haven’t tasted food for three whole days.
Old lady (Mary Carr): Three whole days!
Stanley (Stan Laurel): Yes ma’am. Yesterday, today and tomorrow.
Oliver (Oliver Hardy): One good turn deserves another.
Stanley (Stan Laurel): So do I neither.
Oliver (Oliver Hardy): What do you mean, “so do I neither”?
Stanley (Stan Laurel): I don’t know anything about cutting wood.
Oliver (Oliver Hardy): Well, you ought to. You once told me your father was in the lumber business.
Stanley (Stan Laurel): I know he was, but it was only in a small way.
Oliver (Oliver Hardy): What do you mean small way?
Stanley (Stan Laurel): He used to sell toothpicks.
Oliver (Oliver Hardy): Well, go ahead and make some toothpicks. Be a chip off of the old block.
Oliver (Oliver Hardy): Now I see it all.
Stanley (Stan Laurel): What?
Oliver (Oliver Hardy): “What”. Don’t try to alibi. You know you stole this money from that old lady. Why guilt is written all over you.
Stanley (Stan Laurel): What do you mean?
Oliver (Oliver Hardy): I mean that you’re going to give this money back and make a full confession!
Stanley (Stan Laurel): A confession of what?
Oliver (Oliver Hardy): And to think after all these years I’ve been fostering a common thief. A viper in my bosom!
Stanley (Stan Laurel): Whose bosom? What are you talking about?
Oliver (Oliver Hardy): Don’t try to bluff me! To think you would bite the hand that was feeding you. You snake in the grass. You traitor! You sheep in wool clothing. You double-crosser. You judist! You’¦ You…!
Stanley (Stan Laurel): Stop! Don’t call me a “You-you”.
Old lady: [Ollie shoves Stan through the door] What on earth is the matter?
Oliver (Oliver Hardy): Madam, my one-time friend Mr. Laurel has a confession to make.
Old lady: Confession?
Oliver (Oliver Hardy): Yes. He’s the one who stole your money and left you at the mercy of that villain!
Old lady: There must be some mistake.
Oliver (Oliver Hardy): There’s no mistake. It’s all too true. Why I caught him red handed.
Old lady: There hasn’t been any money stolen. We were just rehearsing a play for the community players.
[laughs]
Oliver (Oliver Hardy): [after long pause; nervously twiddles his tie] I must have made a faux pas.
[laughs; Stan proceeds to beat Ollie up]
