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Funny movie quotes from My Favorite Brunette

Funny movie quotes from My Favorite Brunette starring Bob Hope, Dorothy Lamour, Peter Lorre and Lon Chaney Jr.

Ronnie Jackson (Bob Hope): Uh oh, her schizo’€™s about to phrenia!

Ronnie Jackson (Bob Hope): You see, I wanted to be a detective too. It only took brains, courage, and a gun … and I had the gun.

Carlotta Montay (Dorothy Lamour): I’m at my wit’s end!
Ronnie Jackson (Bob Hope): I passed there an hour ago.

Ronnie Jackson (Bob Hope): How about it, Sam? Can I go to work for you? Just give me a simple “yes” or “no”.
Sam McCloud: No.
Ronnie Jackson (Bob Hope): Aw, but that’s TOO simple!

Dr. Lundau: For the past six months, Miss Montay has been suffering from an acute case of schizophrenia, accompanied by visual aberrations and increasingly severe paranoiac delusions.
Ronnie Jackson (Bob Hope): Mm-HMM! And how is she mentally?

Carlotta Montay (Dorothy Lamour): You said you’d stick with me till your dying breath.
Ronnie Jackson (Bob Hope): Yeah, and I’m getting too close to it.

Ronnie Jackson (Bob Hope): I figure the only way to get the inside dope is from the outside … dope!

Ronnie Jackson (Bob Hope): Beautiful day, isn’t it? Well, maybe it isn’t so beautiful … it is day, though.

Ronnie Jackson (Bob Hope): Easy cuddles! One move and you’re a dead midget!

Ronnie Jackson (Bob Hope): Nutty as a fruitcake, and with all that beautiful frosting.

Ronnie Jackson (Bob Hope): You can open the mailman later.

State Trooper: If you bother us again, I’ll personally punch you in the nose so hard it will look like other peoples’ noses.

Carlotta Montay (Dorothy Lamour): He said he was safe.
Ronnie Jackson (Bob Hope): Oh, he’s safe alright … I mean, he’s safe alright.
Carlotta Montay (Dorothy Lamour): But he’s not safe! I know he isn’t!
Ronnie Jackson (Bob Hope): No no, he’s in a terrible spot.
Carlotta Montay (Dorothy Lamour): But I feel he’s in great danger.
Ronnie Jackson (Bob Hope): Yes yes, he’s in great danger … yeah, but he’s safe alright … he’s safe. I sound like an umpire.

Ronnie Jackson (Bob Hope): Everything you touch turns to rigor mortis.

Sam McCloud: I told you before, stick to watching the birdie and you’ll die of old age.
Ronnie Jackson (Bob Hope): Yeah but I was cut out for this kind of life. All my life I wanted to be a hard-boiled detective like Humphrey Bogart or Dick Powell or even Alan Ladd.

Ronnie Jackson (Bob Hope): You come one step closer and I’ll break this record into a thousand pieces! Oh … wait a minute. Who’s side am I on?

State Trooper: Keep moving! You got a long drive back to town!
Ronnie Jackson (Bob Hope): Yeah well let me tell you something!
State Trooper: What?
Ronnie Jackson (Bob Hope): I like long drives …


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