Funny movie quotes from Justice League – the 2017 action film from the DC Extended Universe
Barry Allen: How many people are on this special fight team?
Bruce Wayne: Three, including you.
Barry Allen: Three? Against what?
Bruce Wayne: I’ll tell you on the plane.
Barry Allen: [gets in the car] Plane? What are your superpowers again?
Bruce Wayne: I’m rich.
Bruce Wayne: Is that why you help these people out here in the middle of nowhere? ‘Cause you can just leave?
Arthur Curry: I help them ’cause no one else does.
Bruce Wayne: If you want to protect them, you need to work with me.
Arthur Curry: “Strong man is strongest alone.” You ever heard of that?
Bruce Wayne: That’s not a saying. That’s the opposite of what the saying is.
Arthur Curry: Yeah… Doesn’t mean I’m wrong.
Bruce Wayne: You ever heard of Superman? He died fighting next to me.
Arthur Curry: My point exactly.
Aquaman: So, your genius plan is dying? You really are out of your mind.
Batman: I’m not the one who brought a pitchfork.
Arthur Curry: You should get out.
Bruce Wayne: Can you at least point me to Atlantis?
Bruce Wayne: [sees the Flash suit] Silica-based quartz sand fabric. Abrasion resistant. Heat resistant.
Barry Allen: Uh… yeah, I do… competitive ice dancing.
Bruce Wayne: It’s what they use on the space shuttle to prevent it from burning up on re-entry.
Barry Allen: I do… very competitive ice dancing.
Clark Kent: [the Kent farm was repossessed, but Clark gets it back] “Thank you, Bruce” is not enough for what you did.
Bruce Wayne: I just undid a mistake, that’s all.
Clark Kent: How did you get the house back from the bank?
Bruce Wayne: I bought the bank.
Clark Kent: The whole bank?
Bruce Wayne: It’s like a reflex with me, I don’t know…
Diana Prince: You should move on from mourning for your parents.
Bruce Wayne: You’re one to talk, you ran away for a hundred years because your boyfriend died!
Alfred Pennyworth: Facial recognition is a bit dodgy on this one. But they’ve got a partial match. A Victor Stone. Genius IQ, football scholarship to GCU and deceased.
Bruce Wayne: Figures. Fairy tales and ghost stories.
Alfred Pennyworth: One misses the days whens one’s biggest concern is exploding wind-up
penguins.
Bruce Wayne: The simple life.
Commissioner Gordon: [to Batman] Good to see you playing with others again.
Aquaman: [approaches and sizes Batman up] Dressed like a bat. I dig it.
Batman: [to Gordon] It may be temporary…
Arthur Curry: Dressed like a bat. You’re out of your mind, Bruce Wayne.[Arthur dives in the water and swims off]
Bruce Wayne: It doesn’t mean I’m wrong.
Arthur Curry: Honestly… I think we’re gonna be dead way before that. And you know what? I don’t mind. It’s an honorable end. But we’ve gotta shut Steppenwolf down. Superman’s a no-show. [to Bruce] You’ve got no powers, no offense. [to Victor]
Arthur Curry: This guy might be working for the enemy. We don’t know. [to Barry] You’re tripping over your feet, and mine… [to Diana]
Arthur Curry: Whuf, you’re gorgeous, and fierce… and strong. I know we went to war with the Amazons, but that was before my time. You know what? I don’t wanna die. I’m young. There’s shit that I wanna do. I just feel like… I didn’t really embrace the sea or the land. I’ve been a loner my whole life. But being part of something bigger, like this… maybe I’m scared because… I’m meant to…
[Bruce smiles and gestures to Arthur, who looks down and realizes he’s sitting on Diana’s Golden Lasso. Irritably, he pulls it out from under his butt and tosses it back to her]
Diana Prince: I think that was beautiful.
Arthur Curry: [as Barry starts to speak] You say a word about this, you’ll meet every piranha I know.
Barry Allen: …I honestly didn’t hear anything after “we’re all gonna die.”
Cyborg: Boo-ya.
Superman: [to Flash] Slowpoke!
German Archaeologist: What did you do this weekend, Diana?
Diana Prince: Me?
German Archaeologist: Yeah.
Diana Prince: Nothing very interesting.
German Archaeologist: That’s all you ever tell us.
Diana Prince: What can I say, I’m not that exciting.
The Flash: [seeing Superman alive again] Pet Cemetery!
Batman: This isn’t the plan.
Alfred Pennyworth: No, Master Wayne. This is the team.
Cyborg: Hey, blame the lady. We would’ve left you, but she didn’t ask for a vote.
Lois Lane: [after Clark is resurrected] You smell good.
Clark Kent: Did I not before?
Barry Allen: [scarfing a whole pizza on the way to Bruce’s car] It’s like this layer of dimensional reality that seems to manipulate space-time. I call it the Speed Force. It causes me to burn a tremendous amount of calories, so I am just a black hole of snacks. I am a snack hole.